California is doomed

More than a year after Congress approved $800 billion in stimulus funds, the Los Angeles city controller has released a 40-page report on how the city spent its share, and the results are not living up to expectations.

"I'm disappointed that we've only created or retained 55 jobs after receiving $111 million," said Wendy Greuel, the city's controller. "With our local unemployment rate over 12 percent we need to do a better job cutting red tape and putting Angelenos back to work."

Thank you California. Thank you for doing a bang up job out there. Don't worry about wasting 111 million in taxpayer dollars. Next year you can report that the stimulus is working when we give you another 100 million in money the government borrowed and you can report that 55 more jobs were saved.

My favorite part of the story...

"I would say maybe in a grade, a B- in creating the jobs," Greuel told Fox News.

I wish I had gone to what ever school you did, I'd have graduated. You put forth that kind of effort and you think that is a B minus? Awesome.

Training exercises, wink, wink

FORT MYERS BEACH: Several residents reported seeing some strange yellow lights off Southwest Florida's coast Tuesday evening.

Wednesday, we've learned the Homestead Air Force Reserve Base out of Miami was performing flare training exercises in the Gulf of Mexico. According to USAF Senior Airman Katie Spencer, they were flying in a specific military-defined airspace. The exercises are required quarterly by the Air Force.

The U.S. Coast Guard says they were notified after-the-fact that the Air Force was conducting a "flare exercise" offshore. Spencer says they typically notify the Coast Guard of any exercises.

Of course they were "conducting training exercises", I wouldn't expect them to say anything to the contrary.

"We locked our balcony because I was afraid aliens were coming to get us," Tommy Contosta said.

OF course you did Tommy. I'm sure the aliens haven't figured a way to get past glass doors yet. Tommy don't you ever watch the Science Fiction Channel? Aliens of all kinds almost always have some type of RAY GUN that will blast through pretty much everything. You gotta figure, if they can create a space traveling machine, they know how to use a garden rock to break your windows.

Homestead Air Force Base officials are using Tuesday's flare-up to remind people of their scheduled air show November 6-7, with the U.S. Navy's Blue Angels headlining.

I wonder what the aliens had to say about the Air Force using them to promote their upcoming primitive and pathetic air show?

My friends in Ft. Myers didn't report anything unusual, but that's what you would expect if they were being controlled by ALIENS!

This should get us over today

Performed and choreographed by Suzanne Cleary & Peter Harding
Film by Jonny Reed
Music: Yolanda Be Cool & D Cup ft. Cleary & Harding

Giggity!

Oklahoma City's in the mood! That's right, according to the America's “Hotbeds of Sex” list published by Men's Health, Oklahoma City ranks eighth on a list of 100 of the most sexually active cities in the country.

It looks like the I-35 corridor is a road to sexually active people. Austin, Dallas, OKC, San Antonio, Arlington and down at 30th even Wichita, Kansas is on there. Sadly this is also leading to the creation of Texans. And that's all fine and everything but its akin to breeding prize pigs. If your pigs are consistently 2nd or 3rd place what's the point?

How do you explain such a phenomenon? Its simple, the gals in Texas and Oklahoma are prettier than most of the rest of the country. Deal with it. If you don't believe me come find out for yourself. Giggity!

Break-in of B-N home fails … and what a break

Break-in of B-N home fails … and what a break

It was the kind of call police can dread most.

Somewhere in Bloomington a break goes horribly wrong RIGHT!

Click the link and read the story.

Bicyclists, ignoring traffic laws, real or imagined

Most urban cyclists are guilty of a little jay-biking. A quick jaunt up onto the sidewalk here, a rolling stop there.

Lately, a mysterious bike cop - not a cop on a bike, but a cop policing bikes - has been coming down hard on cyclists pedaling the Midtown Greenway.

Here's the problem - he's enforcing an imaginary speed limit. And no one in local law enforcement is taking responsibility for Officer Unfriendly.

I used to ride a bike. Back then parking on campus was expensive and inconvenient. Today, I hate bicyclists. The first problem with bicyclists are they want to be treated like cars, right up to the part where they don't obey traffic laws, then they are just some guys on bicycles.

My daughter hit a bicyclist last year (he was fine and uninjured). He was on the busiest and most traveled street in Norman, Oklahoma. The posted speed limit is 40mph and drivers often exceed this by a minimum of 5 over. He was riding his bike leisurely and not adhering to the "bike lane". The bike lane is the outer 1/3 of the street, curb side. We are pretty sure he was one of the bikers that make a living in Norman being struck by automobiles. The amazing thing is he was not ticketed for any of his actions that day. The even more amazing thing is, right next to this heavily traveled stretch of Robinson is a BIKE PATH FOR BICYCLES!

This jackhole is not the only one. I passed a bike just the other day that was putting along during evening rush hour on a street with a posted speed limit of 50mph. This is just stupid. You want to ride your bike for exercise, fine. Don't do it during rush hour on a street with a posted speed limit of over 35mph. It is rude and you are lucky to be alive considering the type of driving I've seen on either of these roads. Stick to the bike paths and get some manners. You are not a pedestrian on a bike, you are considered a motor vehicle by the laws of this state.

Purdue students need crossing guards

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. -- Purdue University student leaders are urging police to educate students who jaywalk instead of ticketing them.

At least six pedestrians or bicyclists have been struck by vehicles and at least three have been hit by bicycles since mid-August. Purdue has added crosswalks at busy intersections in attempts to improve safety and plans to hire 25 to 30 student crossing guards.

Purdue Student Government leaders say students can't afford the fees.

Seriously? 

If you can't do the time pay the fine, don't cross the line street...illegally. I'm just stunned that COLLEGE STUDENTS at a university as hard to get into as Purdue need crossing guards to tell them when they can safely cross the street. According to the thread on Fark.com, if you can fog a mirror you can get into Purdue. I was under the assumption it was harder than that, perhaps no.

Did you hear the nice police man? "Personal saftety is everybody's responsibility."

You got hit by a car or bicycle while crossing the street. I have just a few observations for you...

• Stop texting
• Get off the phone
• Take your headphones off/out
• Don't be so arrogant that you think LAWS designed for your SAFETY don't apply to you.

Hello my name is Nanny State, have we met? Oh yes...in England. I'm pretty sure if you start treating them like children, they won't like it. Or perhaps their helicopter parents will sue the school for not protecting their ADULT CHILDREN. Maybe we should make them all hold hands when they cross the street too?

PS on a side note. Purdue students can't accurately formulate an EMBED statement either. They left the /embed code out of the statement on their Purdue Youtube channel.