Friday, July 23, 2010

2 million? For a wedding?

It's turning out to be one of the hottest weddings of the season, and probably one of the most expensive.

When Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky tie the knot on July 31 they will be surrounded by friends, family and an A-list of celebrities that is likely to include more than one world leader. Hey, Dad's a former president and Mom's the current Secretary of State, after all.

Details of the wedding are slowly leaking out -- it's presumed to be in the small upstate New York village of Rhinebeck -- and it doesn't appear to disappoint. While nobody but the Clintons knows the exact price, it's shaping up to be a costly affair: the total price tag could easily reach $2 million.

I don't really care if the Clintons spend 2 million dollars for a wedding. What I DO CARE ABOUT is how much it will cost you and I the TAXPAYERS. Please someone tell me the Federal Government is going to send them a bill for all the security they are going to need. In case you didn't know it, Secret Service guys don't work or fly for free and sheriff's deputies don't work for donuts and coffee.

Workout or Don't, Whatever

Dear (name removed) Fitness Center:

My name is Uncle Edgester and I am writing to let you know I am canceling my membership....Let's just say it was a test and you failed. Here is what I wrote in my exercise journal last week:

Day One. Told gym members to try imaginary exercises with exotic names that sound like an execution method in a James Bond movie: Brazilian death get-ups. Reverse Hungarian skull-crushers. I then demonstrated each by grabbing a ball-shaped weight and flopping about like grandpa dancing to Lady Gaga in the YouTube video. Even the personal trainers believed me!

Working out is NOT for everyone. This is a humorous look at one week in the gym. The pic is for our lady readers who, on the whole put up with the testosterone filled crap I usually deliver. Enjoy. (As much as you like the pic Josh its not for you, this time.)

Office workers warming to Lazy Fridays

IT'S the new unspoken rule of etiquette - don't call an office worker after 3pm on a Friday.

If it's urgent, call the nearest watering hole where they're likely to be under a beer garden umbrella, talking with their office comrades.

It's called Lazy Fridays and it's coming to your office.

Sydney's business community has embraced the Lazy Fridays movement, with offices across the city calling it quits mid-arvo.

Its a rule where I work not to call with anything you want done today in the last hour of the day, Monday through Friday. No one is allowed to work after quitting time without PREapproval, so no one does. There are still people who don't know any better and call anyway. But most people have a way to stonewall it to the next day.

Devon Energy in OKC gives every other Friday off to its employees. You work longer days during the week but who doesn't in a "lets make some money" business. The company spokesperson says it encourages community involvement and volunteerism. Damn right it does. If I had little kids I could show up at their school and volunteer. That's why Devon is in the top 100 places in the world to work.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

One in three men 'frightened' by their partner's driving

Millions of men find themselves pushing their feet down into the footwell because their wife or partner brakes late. Others regularly spend large chunks of a journey gripping the edges of the passenger seat.

One in ten said they had been forced to grab the steering wheel as their partner took her eyes off the road and careered towards the central reservation. A spokesman for OnePoll.com, an online market research giant which commissioned the study among 3,000 men, said: "Most feel they are better drivers than the women in their lives.

How true!!! In defense of women out there and all four of our female readers, I do know a woman who drives better than her husband. But only one. In the DD house, I can't stand to ride with my wife or daughters at the wheel. It drives me nuts, or more accurately they drive and it makes me nuts.

Just last Thursday for instance. I was attempting to eat a sandwich. I opened my mouth and in the process I dislocated my jaw. Yeah, I know! Anyway it was "go to the emergency room" dislocated. So off we went with my wife at the wheel. I'm already having trouble with the jaw issue and she is trying to look at me while she drives. Finally culminating in me verbally grunting at her when at the intersection to our neighborhood she is staring at me while turning on to Porter. As I grabbed the wheel to keep us from driving straight in to the curb on the far side of the street I grunted, "JUST DRIVE!!" It came out "UUUS IVE!" but I felt compelled to correct her just the same.