Biden Slips, Honors Memory of Irish PM's Mother -- While She's Alive

Vice President Biden added to his lengthy list of gaffes Wednesday when he took a moment to honor the memory of the Irish prime minister's mother -- a woman who's very much alive.

"Wait ... your mom’s still, your mom is still alive. It was your Dad (who) passed. God bless her soul. I gotta get this straight," Biden said.

You represent us so well. Thanks for all the laughs.

/sarcasm

CIA Chief: 'Disrupted' Al Qaeda Is 'On the Run'

CIA Director Leon Panetta said Wednesday an aggressive campaign has driven Usama bin Laden and other leaders deeper into hiding and left Al Qaeda and the Taliban in Pakistan's tribal regions in disarray.

"Those operations are seriously disrupting Al Qaeda," Panetta told The Washington Post in an interview. "It's pretty clear from all the intelligence we are getting that they are having a very difficult time putting together any kind of command and control, that they are scrambling. And that we really do have them on the run."

Do not loose your resolve. 

It is just like this administration and congress to pull the plug now. I say we hound the fascists until they are all DEAD. They want us dead, fine. We want them dead. It's a lose, win, in our favor. I hope the rest of the world takes a lesson from this. You mess with the U.S., you die. Tough talk? Sure it is. We don't mess with you unless you mess with us.

We are the most tolerant country in the world. Do you want to practice your religion and way of life in peace? Come to America. We can pretty much get along with just about anyone. We have a community for just about any culture out there. Look at the extreme religions that operate in America. Charismatic Christianity in Elohim City, Arkansas, some of the polygamist groups in Utah, voodoo in New Orleans, capitalism in New York City, socialism in Washington, DC, as you can see we will let you do just about whatever you want here.

So why do these Islamic Fascists want to kill us? Because we don't follow their religion? That doesn't make any sense in a country that allows just about any religion to be practiced.

I want to issue a hearty thank you to all the "rough men" out there doing violence on my behalf. You make America safer every day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It may come as a disappointment to learn that green beer and the four-leaf clover have nothing to do with the patron saint of Ireland, Maewyn Succat, a 5th-century priest who devoted his life to building churches and converting the Gaelic Irish to Christianity.

Only in recent years has St. Patrick's Day become the alcohol-infused Celtic festival celebrated around the world with music, parades, leaping leprechauns and public mischief, such as dumping green dye into the Chicago River -- a transformation perpetrators equate with Moses parting the Red Sea. Previously, St. Patrick's Day was a more sombre occasion when people were obliged to attend mass, abstained from liquor and spent time with family.

So however you celebrate it...I hope you enjoy it. Have fun and be safe.

Piano Chat Improv Guy

Thanks to Red Dirt Kings for the link.

NBC Chicago Thinks Sexual Abuse Is Sexy!

NBC Chicago has been accused of some shady things before, but this one pretty much takes the cake. Earlier this afternoon, the website posted a story about a lawsuit brought against a former cheerleading coach alleging he impregnated a then-13-year-old girl. Okay, fine. But someone might want to double-check about the image selection on that story. Here's how it originally appeared.

What the hell is going on over there at NBC Chicago? Bad taste redefined. Lets see how long it takes the to change the pic. We posted this at 15:08 Central Standard Time.

Easier to win the lottery twice than pick a perfect NCAA tournament bracket

DePaul math professor and NCAA basketball tournament buff Jeffrey Bergen has numbers that will make your head spin on how difficult it is to predict early winners in the tournament.

The number of ways to fill out a bracket, once the play-in game is out of the way: 9,223,372,036,854,775,808.

You are much more likely to win a multimillion-dollar lottery on consecutive weekends than getting a perfect bracket.

It would be easier to sit down today and correctly predict the winner of each of the next 12 World Series.

It would be the same as correctly predicting the winner of every presidential election (Democrat vs. Republican) through the year 2260.

So yeah, anyone who says they have "a system" or "know something we don't", they are full of crap. It's damn hard to predict the winners. You have a better chance at asking any cheerleader in the pic out and her saying yes.

On a side note, UCLA will not be in the NCAA tournament, so this will be the only hope of seeing their cheerleaders this year.

Narcos blamed for killings of 3 with US consul tie

CIUDAD JUAREZ, Mexico – Suspected drug gang hit men separately ambushed two cars carrying families with ties to the U.S. consulate in this violent border city, killing an American couple and a Mexican man. Three young children survived, although two suffered wounds.
The slayings came amid a surge in bloodshed along Mexico's border with Texas and drew condemnation from the White House. Mexico's president expressed outrage and promised a fast investigation to find those responsible.

This shit has got to stop.

Mexico needs to step and correct the problems with these thugs. I wonder how they would like it if we sent U.S. Marines down there to put an end to these problems?

This killing and many others has me questioning if we have quite possibly setup this entire mess just like we set up the mobsters with prohibition. As much as I would not like to see drugs legalized, it might have the same affect as it did with the gangsters in the 1930s. I wonder how much money could be raised with taxes on cocaine and marijuana?

Peter Graves, actor, dead, heart attack, 83.989

LOS ANGELES – Peter Graves, whose calm and intelligent demeanor was a good fit to the intrigue of "Mission Impossible" as well as the satire of the "Airplane" films, has died.

Graves passed away Sunday just a few days before his 84th birthday outside his home in Los Angeles, publicist Sandy Brokaw said. Graves was returning from brunch with his wife of nearly 60 years and his family when he had what Graves' doctor believed was a heart attack, Brokaw said.

Most people know him from the Airplane! movie. His classic inappropriate exchanges with Joey in the cockpit are quoted daily in offices around the world.

Quotes from IMDB.com:

[an epidemic of food poisoning is sweeping the plane]
Captain Oveur: What is it, Doctor? What's going on?
Rumack: I'm not sure. I haven't seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert.

And of course the eternal...

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Thank you for many years of comic enjoyment.