Thursday, December 31, 2009

Something to think about

Chris Kelly
By Chris Kelly

My Daughter's on the No Fly List


My middle daughter's name seems to be on the No Fly List. Since she's only twelve years old, and neither practices nor endorses acts of political violence, I can only assume there's been some kind of mistake.

Every time we go to the airport, the electronic kiosk simply refuses to issue her a boarding pass, and we're sent to the ticket counter, where five people look at the whole family's I.D., and then specifically hers, and then someone calls someone, and they call someone, and that person tells the person on the phone, "No, she's a little girl." And eventually we're allowed to run for our flight.

It also kind of feels like a waste of our time, the airline's time, the TSA's time, and the time of whoever's on the other end of the phone, who could be torturing someone.

I can tell you that if my career ever leads me back to using the airlines and flying to make a living and my name winds up on the NO-FLY-LIST, I'm going to change my name to Haywood Jablome. That's a fact.

Consequences


Check out the caption on the photo.

As one person commented on the Fark Forum: This is what happens when you fire your good editors and abuse the rest of the copy desk.

Print media has a mortal wound, and no one is smart enough or creative enough to fix it.

Coming to hospital near you....soon


GRANDAD John Docherty had his wedding finger ripped off on a RAILING - when his ring snagged on the fence after he slipped on ice.

But he was denied treatment at his local hospital in Ayr where he was told to take a TAXI to Glasgow - and had to share it with a medic traveling elsewhere.

"I arrived at the Royal around 2pm, almost three hours after I fell. Eventually a surgeon said he could try reattaching it, but the chances of it healing were slim."

Except the difference in America will be we will spend 3000$ transporting the patient by ambulance AND THEN throw away the finger. And then the hospital will spend a few hundred thousand dollars defending it's actions. See...change is good, right?

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Women can tell what you've been watching on TV by just smelling you

(MYFOX NATIONAL) - The smell of men's sweat can tell women if they are attracted to them, according to a new study . The study showed that the smell of a man's sweat differs according to what mood he is in and women can pick up on changes that indicate attraction, the Telegraph reports.

Sweat was gathered from polyester pads attached to the armpits of the men. The "normal" sweat was taken during a 20-minute session in which the men were asked to watch educational videos. Then the men watched 20 minutes of an erotic video, during which the "sexual" sweat was gathered.

The women were exposed to the two different scents and researchers indicated that the brain activity of the women showed that they recognized the scents and responded to them.

Remember to shower after watching "erotic videos" gents. Women can tell you were watching them. Finding the chemical that cause the brain reactions to be bottled and sold in 3,2,1....

Love Potion No. 9 anyone?

It don't get funnier than this


NEW YORK — A city correction officer took a cell phone photo of his co-worker sleeping on duty, leading to disciplinary action against both of them.

The photo shows guard Nadja Green, in uniform, leaning back in a chair with her arms folded on her chest, eyes closed and mouth open. An inmate is standing next to her, making a "peace" sign.

The photo, published in the New York Post on Tuesday, came to the attention of Department of Correction officials last week, said Deputy Commissioner Stephen Morello. Once it was authenticated, Green was transferred from her post at the Rikers Island infirmary and removed from supervising inmates. The department also did the same to Claudel Barrau, the officer who took the photo.

You have to know the union would support the employee. They should be supporting the other employees who were NOT sleeping on the job by getting rid of bad employees.

'Miracle' Mom and Baby 'Dead' in Labor, Revived


A Christmas Miracle <-- Video

In what is being hailed as a Christmas "miracle," a young mother died during labor with a still-born baby on Christmas Eve but both mom and baby came back to life just minutes later, before the eyes of the nearly heartbroken, stunned father.
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A mother and child are revived after dying during the birth.

"Half of my family was lying there right in front of me -- there's no other way to say it -- dead," Mike Hermanstorfer told ABC News' Colorado affiliate KRDO. "I lost all feeling. Once her heartbeat stopped, I felt like mine did too."

I have no words to comment on this. Christmas Miracle or Festivus Miracle, either way it is amazing.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Yes Virginia, you can put off your student loans forever


LUCKNOW: Meet R.K. Rai, a scholar extraordinary. Over the years he has acquired MA degrees in 22 subjects, five PhDs and three D.Lits. But at the age of 65, he wants more.

Rai is a retired professor and resident of Uttar Pradesh's Ghazipur district, some 280 km from Lucknow.

"I firmly believe learning is a life-long process. Just following this principle, I acquired all my degrees and want to continue studies so long as I am alive," Rai told IANS on phone from Ghazipur.

I'm really amazed this guy hasn't started using his knowledge for evil...like going on Jeopardy.

So basically if you stay in school, would you ever have to pay back the student loans? I couldn't find a picture of Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr. Rai. So here is one of Aishwarya Rai.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Shade Tree Mechanics No More?


LOS ANGELES – A sign inside the Humming Motors auto repair shop says, "We do the worrying so you don't have to."

These days, owner David Baur spends a lot of time worrying in his full-service garage near downtown Los Angeles.

As cars become vastly more complicated than models made just a few years ago, Baur is often turning down jobs and referring customers to auto dealer shops. Like many other independent mechanics, he does not have the thousands of dollars to purchase the online manuals and specialized tools needed to fix the computer-controlled machines.

Access to repair information is at the heart of a debate over a congressional bill called the Right to Repair Act. Supporters of the proposal say automakers are trying to monopolize the parts and repair industry by only sharing crucial tools and data with their dealership shops. The bill, which has been sent to the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, would require automakers to provide all information to diagnose and service vehicles.

The technology wave has made even the simplest tasks difficult for some ill-equipped mechanics. Baur, for instance, said he couldn't turn off the "check tire pressure" light after fixing a 2008 Mercury Grand Marquis because he lacked the roughly $1,000 tool to reset the tire pressure monitor.

Just another reason to drive the old clunkers. But then they'll legislate that you can't because of pollution from the older models. The average joe is getting screwed and there is really very little we can do about it.

Paper airplane virtuoso tests record aloft


TOKYO – In the world of competitive paper airplane throwing, a 20-second flight is exceptional, 25 or better is world class.

Thirty is the stuff dreams are made of.

Only one man — Japanese paper airplane virtuoso Takuo Toda — has ever come close to breaking the 30-second barrier. On Sunday, he set a world record for a hand-launched plane made with only paper, but fell just short of the 30-second mark.

Toda, flying a 10-centimeter-long craft of his own design, made 10 attempts to break his own record of 27.9 seconds set earlier this year in Hiroshima but failed to best his previous mark, settling for a 26.1-second flight.

Yeah, I think the longest I ever had was 4 seconds. 26 seconds? That's pretty cool.
If he get one to fly past thirty he'll have to get TSA to guard it or someone will try to board it and catch some "powdery" substance on fire.