Friday, September 11, 2009

September is National Velociraptor Awareness Month!

New Home Buyer Tips
When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:
1. Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
2. Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
3. Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.

A public service announcement from our staff. We don't want to loose any readers to velociraptors this month.

Mapping the 7 Deadly Sins


We're gluttons for infographics, and a team at Kansas State just served up a feast: maps of sin created by plotting per-capita stats on things like theft (envy) and STDs (lust). Christian clergy, likely noting the Bible Belt's status as Wrath Central, question the "science." Valid point—or maybe it's just the pride talking.

I can explain the red in Oklahoma for sloth. Both of the red splotches are where the two biggest lakes in Oklahoma are. Grand Lake of the Cherokees in the north and Lake Eufala in the middle east of the state. Great sums of money are spent by weekend visitors of the area and the local populations have a high unemployment rate due to lack of jobs.

Pride....that's an easy one too. SEC football in the South and the Sooners and Cowboys in Oklahoma.

Websters: Butt Dailing


“I was in a graduate school interview with my phone in my back pocket on silent and everything,” Duke graduate student Kathryn Ellis explains. “In the middle of the interview I hear this low moaning sound coming from my pocket, but I ignored it thinking my interviewer couldn’t hear it.”

I wonder when Webster's will add "BUTT DIALING" to the dictionary?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Health News You Can Use

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Don't pass the salt: If Americans were to cut their salt intake to recommended levels, they'd have far fewer cases of high blood pressure, and save billions of dollars in health care costs, a new study estimates.

Because high sodium intake can contribute to high blood pressure -- and its complications, including heart and kidney disease - the Institute of Medicine recommends that adults consume no more than 2,300 milligrams (mg) of sodium per day. The average American, however, gets about 1,000 mg more than that, according to the authors of the study in the American Journal of Health Promotion.

There you have it. Obvious? SURE IT IS! I bet you didn't know you could control the cost of health care in America. But you can. Here's another great way to control the cost of health care in America, go out and walk around the damn block.

I guess it's all too late for "we the people" to control the costs of health care in America. We seem hell bent for leather to provide health care for every one AT ANY COST.

The President has revised the number of people this plan would cover from 47 million to 30 million last night. Presumably because he is going to NOT COVER the 10 million illegal aliens in America. I'm not sure how they are going to keep the illegal aliens from visiting hospitals for medical care, unless he plans to round them up when they come in, but I doubt he is going to do that. SO we will still be paying for their care, just not under the new Health Care Bill.




So when they talk about who isn't covered it's actually only 12 million people. The other people are either already covered or choose not to be covered or are here illegally.

So why can't we just add this 12 million to the Medicare budget? Why do we need a government run program?

Do we need to do something HELL YES WE DO. The problem with all of this is the government wants to pay for everyone's medical care and still let them do all the unhealthy things they are doing today. Look at all the things that lead directly to using medical care: smoking, overeating, dirt bike racing, making Jackass movies and posting them on YouTube. All these stupid things and more are all lifestyle choices that we the people will be taxed to provide medical coverage for.

So when Johnny Dumbass jumps his RV and then needs an MRI to decide which vertebra need to be fuzed, and his friends who were there watching are binge drinking and later get liver cancer or need a transplant, or worse get in a car wreck driving drunk, and his pards that are smoking cigarettes need chemotherapy for their inevitable cancer. WE GET TO PAY FOR IT.




The GAO says:
National health spending is expected to reach $2.5 trillion in 2009, accounting for 17.6 percent of the gross domestic product (GDP). By 2018, national health care expenditures are expected to reach $4.4 trillion—more than double 2007 spending.1

If that is true and GDP doesn't grow with the increase that could be a problem.

You must also consider when and IF they get a bill done, every Tom, Dick and Harry down there will attached half a dozen amendments that have nothing to do with health care to the bill because they know IT HAS TO PASS!

What ever savings you might have, will be off set the first year with new spending.

So the next time you reach for the salt shaker remember YOU ARE THE ONE DRIVING UP THE COST OF HEALTH CARE IN AMERICA.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Driver plows into Grand Junction liquor store; alcohol suspected


GRAND JUNCTION — Authorities say an SUV driver who crashed into a Grand Junction liquor store and drove away had probably been drinking.

The store was closed at the time of the crash Sunday night, and no one was inside.

Probably? That's some fine police work there Lou.

Josh, how many times have I told you to let one of your kids drive you to the liquor store when you've had that many. And the liquor stores are closed on Sunday nights, stock up Saturday night.

I found video!, Hey Josh...you've gotten older and taller.

Awesome he's a Colorado State fan!!! Good job Rams.



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Restrictions on prescription of osteoporosis drugs 'defy belief'


Thousands of women are being denied better osteoporosis drugs because of unnecessarily restrictive Government guidelines, a doctor said last night.

Professor David Reid, an expert on brittle bones, said the rules are so stringent that GPs are often prevented from giving alternative treatments to those suffering side-effects from their pills.

A once-a-year jab that could save thousands from the misery of broken bones is also not going to be assessed for use on the NHS in England and Wales for at least three years, according to Professor Reid, despite being available in Scotland.

Plaster and cotton is far cheaper than the medicine. For those of you that are going to use the Government Health Program, be sure to ask your health care commissioners if you can have the treatment. And no crying if they say no. You asked for universal care, now enjoy it.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Offensive line not the only thing broken at Oklahoma game


It's one thing to have your computer crash. It's another to have it crash in front of thousands of sports fans. This latest humiliation took place Saturday at the pre-game festivities for the Oklahoma/Brigham Young game
at the at the brand new $1.15 billion Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

Awesome. I'm convinced Jerry Jones's sold his soul to Satan himself to complete that stadium. When the Cowboys go 5-11 in their inaugural season my last statement will be confirmed. My Brother-in-law said he knows a guy who is already drawing up the engineering plans to move the scoreboard up. It weighs 1.2 million pounds, having it up there is an amazing fete of engineering.

I also understand that they can have any of four different kinds of fields installed.
How freaking awesome would soccer be in that stadium?

WHAT.THE.HELL?


New advice published in Scouting, the official in-house magazine, says neither Scouts nor their parents should bring penknives to camp except in "specific" situations.

Scouts have traditionally been taught how to use knives correctly, using them on camping trips to cut firewood or carve tools.

Dave Budd, a knife-maker who runs courses training Scouts about the safe use of blades, wrote that the growing problem of knife crime meant action had to be taken.

"Sadly, there is now confusion about when a Scout is allowed to carry a knife," he wrote. "The series of high-profile fatal stabbings [has] highlighted a growing knife culture in the UK.

"I think it is safest to assume that knives of any sort should not be carried by anybody to a Scout meeting or camp, unless there is likely to be a specific need for one. In that case, they should be kept by the Scout leaders and handed out as required."

Likely to be a specific need for one? How about the Boy Scout's motto, "Be Prepared"? Doesn't that by it's very nature dictate that the scout should have a pen knife with him?

The wussification of England continues.

Victoria's big secret

Embroidered with a small crown and the initials VR, the undergarments have been given 'national designated status' by the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Don't eat the guests


Bad form Mr. Lion. That handler kept reinforcing "He was only playing". I don't think that makes it any less scary.