Mother's Day Don't be a Schmuck

The United States and Canada celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday in May.

Julia Ward Howe was the first to propose a "mother's day" in the US, writing in 1870 her "Mother's Day Proclamation". In 1907 Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her dead mother, and she thought independently of a holiday honoring your own mother. She got it nationally recognized in the US in 1914.

Well it is once again time for Mother's day. What will I be doing? I will be cooking for my family as they watch me prepare everything to celebrate Mother's day. I find it funny each year that I have to setup the festivities for Mother's Day when my wife is not "my mother". Where are my kids on all this?

Do I mind doing all this for my wife? Certainly not. She is a great mom to my children. And an example that each of them will follow some day in the raising of their own children. I just find it ironic that if "I" don't set this thing up, when Dad's day rolls around next month I won't even get a mention.

Call your moms. Have a good weekend.

(yeah...that's my mom at her book signing a few years ago)

Pakistani army vows to oust Taliban militants

MARDAN, Pakistan – Pakistan's army vowed Friday to eliminate militants from a northwestern valley but warned that its under-equipped troops face thousands of Taliban extremists who have seized towns, planted bombs made from pressure cookers, and dragooned children to be suicide bombers.

As air force jets roared overhead and gunbattles raged, terrified civilians from the Swat Valley and neighboring districts accelerated their exodus, with U.N. and Pakistani officials predicting 1 million refugees will soon burden the turbulent Afghan border region.

The army formally announced Friday that an offensive was under way. It has drawn praise from U.S. officials alarmed at the Taliban's recent advance to within 60 miles of the capital, Islamabad.

It will be a bit of a bad stretch while the do the work to get these fascists out of the valley. And I love the the human interest part about children used as suicide bombers. Let us all feel sorry for the children and remember these bastards are willing to use CHILDREN to blow up other people. So the next time you hear someone say we don't need to be over there or the ever popular ENDLESS WAR chant remind them that these fascists would use your dead body for a road side attraction.

Government to condemn land for Flight 93 memorial

PITTSBURGH – The government will begin taking land from seven property owners so that the Flight 93 memorial can be built in time for the 10th anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks, the National Park Service said.

"But with few exceptions, these negotiations have been unsuccessful," said the statement, which was to be released later Thursday.

The seven property owners own about 500 acres still needed for what will ultimately be a $58 million, 2,200-acre permanent memorial and national park at the crash site near Shanksville, about 60 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

2200 acres? That's about two square miles. I guess they don't want any encroachment to their memorial as well. God Bless America.

Porn star may take on family values La. senator

BATON ROUGE, La. – Stormy Daniels strode onstage at a downtown Baton Rouge restaurant in a tight black blouse with a plunging neckline and a knee-length skirt in the popular purple of Louisiana State University. She introduced herself with a warning.

"For those of you who don't know who I am," she told the lunch crowd at The Roux House, "I'd suggest that you don't Google that until you get home from work."

She's a Louisiana-born porn star who says she is considering a 2010 run for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Republican David Vitter, whose family-values reputation was marred in 2007 when his name was linked to a Washington prostitution ring.

I'm surprised that more people with "entertainment money" don't run for public office. As a group the "Hollywood crowd" gives tons of money to support candidates and career politicians. It surprises me that they continue to do this and get the level of results they get. Stormy is following suit of several porn stars in other countries.

Family values candidates with "egg on their faces" and their names linked to prostitution are easy marks.

Lucky Bastard!

SYDNEY – A bungee jumping, ostrich-riding British charity worker was named the winner Wednesday of what's been dubbed the "Best Job in the World" — a six-month contract to serve as caretaker of a tropical Australian island.

Ben Southall, 34, of Petersfield, beat out nearly 35,000 applicants from around the world for the dream assignment to swim, explore and relax on Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef for while writing a blog to promote the area.

He was selected for the 150,000 Australian dollar ($111,000) gig by officials from the tourism department of Queensland state.

The "lucky bastard" is bringing his Canadian girlfriend with him. Congrats go out to him from all of us who applied and from those of us who couldn't apply, because our wives said no.

Pakistan pounds Taliban; fighters pour into Swat

MINGORA, Pakistan – Helicopter gunships and mortar teams pounded militant strongholds Wednesday, killing dozens outside emerald mines, the military said, as Taliban reinforcements poured down from their mountain hide-outs and seized homes and government buildings.

The army began taking the fight to militants entrenched in both the Swat Valley and in Buner, just 60 miles (100 kilometers) from the capital, as Pakistan's leader prepared to hear demands from President Barack Obama for forceful action from a struggling ally.

If you press them...they can't plan attacks, they can't enforce their own flavor of fascist religious doctrines on the local population, they can't recruit, they can't stockpile arms and explosives. They must fight to defend themselves. They have limited resources and will not stand and fight a toe to toe battle with you. Press them, crush them, destroy them. They want control of the government to control their nukes. A five year old could tell you that. Stop them now while you can.

Dom DeLuise, actor, comedian and chef, dead, 75

LOS ANGELES – Dom DeLuise's son says the actor and comedian has died in Southern California. He was 75.

Michael DeLuise told Los Angeles TV station KTLA and radio station KNX that his father died Monday night.

Burt Reynolds released a statement to ET on Tuesday morning (May 5). "I was thinking the other day about this. As you get older you think about this more and more, I was dreading this moment. Dom always made everyone feel better when he was around. I never heard him say an unkind word about anyone. I will miss him very much," Reynolds said in the statement.

The world is a lot less funny today. He was a comic genius.

Swine flu no worse than regular flu, Napolitano says

The swine flu virus that has sparked fear and precautions worldwide appears to be no more dangerous than the regular flu virus that makes its rounds each year, U.S. officials said Monday.

I think the majority of Americans figured that out when tens of thousands of cases didn't materialize like the media outlets told us they would. Good work goes out to 80% of that...
1. wasn't concerned
2. realized the facts didn't support the hype
3. continued on with their daily lives as normal

Finally an official says it like it really is.

Disparity, defined

They were killed on the same day, in the same way. One of the deaths captured the attention of a city and spurred the Los Angeles Police Department into overdrive. The other slipped by unnoticed, leaving a lone detective with little more to go on than hope.

Adrianna Bachan died first. Shortly after 3 a.m. March 29, Bachan, 18, and a friend stood at the intersection of Jefferson Boulevard and Hoover Street on the edge of the USC campus. Returning home after a night out, the two students stepped into the crosswalk and started across Jefferson.

An eastbound car blew through a red light, tossing Bachan into the air and hurling her friend onto the windshield, before it disappeared into the darkness, witnesses and police said.

The search for Agapito Nicolas' killer unfolded differently.

No detective was summoned to the crime scene -- common in hit-and-runs in which the victim does not die at the scene. Instead, uniformed officers collected what information they could and wrote a report. As with Bachan, there wasn't much evidence: no license plate, no description of the driver, only two witnesses, who said they believed the car had been a silver Volkswagen Jetta.

The next morning, the case was assigned to Det. Michael Kaden. A 13-year veteran of hit-and-run investigations, Kaden read the crime scene report and knew he was in for a long day. He drove to the scene and spent the morning looking for more witnesses or security cameras that might have captured the incident. He drove back to LAPD's Central station to make copies of an "Information Wanted" flier, then returned to the crosswalk and spent much of what remained of the day handing the fliers to passersby.

A news release elicited no interest from newspapers or television stations.

What more is there to say? Is one situation more sad than another?

Jedi weddings? Yep.

TWO Star Wars fans yesterday formed a rebel alliance — with a wedding themed on the classic sci-fi films.

Groom Duncan Thomson dressed as space hero Han Solo while Sammi Gardiner turned out as Princess Leia.

Sammi’s meteorite ring was engraved: “May the 4th be with you” — in tribute to the line: “May the force be with you.” A supporting cast of 50 Jedis and Sith Lords saw Chewbacca as best man, while Darth Vader made a speech.

I don't have any Jedi friends, but some day I look forward to attending a Jedi wedding.