This story made me COL

A nice story, with surprising end:

In Stuttgart, Germany, a court judge must decide on a case of honorable intentions in a situation where a man hired his neighbor to get his wife pregnant.

It seems that Demetrius Soupolos, 29, and his former beauty queen wife, Traute, wanted a child badly, but Demetrius was told by a doctor that he was sterile.

So, Soupolos, after calming his wife’s protests, hired his neighbor, Frank Maus, 34, to impregnate her. Since Maus was already married and the father of two children, plus looked very much like Soupolos to boot, the plan seemed good.

Soupolos paid Maus $2,500 for the job and for three evenings a week for the next six months, Maus tried desperately, a total of 72 different times, to impregnate Traute.

Oh man. Well at least he gave it the old college try! Bummer for you both.

COL = Chuckle Out Loud

Stimulus Bonus?

Have you heard of this Stimulus Bonus?

President Obama has asked that all employers adjust their payroll systems by Wednesday so eligible workers can start receiving the new Making Work Pay tax credit through their paychecks. The credit, available for 2009 and 2010, was a part of the economic recovery package lawmakers passed in February.

Possibly. Some people could end up getting a larger credit than they're entitled to. That means they'd have to pay back the excess amount when they file their 2009 taxes -- or, if they're getting a refund, their refund would be reduced by the amount they were overpaid.

If that situation is unappealing, a tax filer could act now to reduce the number of withholding allowances he takes on his W4 at work. The fewer allowances he takes, the more tax that is withheld.

Those most likely to be overpaid are:

• Anyone who holds more than one job.

• Joint filers whose spouses work.

There's a twist, too. Because of the way the withholding tables were set up, each working spouse may be paid up to $600 this year -- instead of up to the $800, Mezistrano said.

In other words, the husband would receive $600 at his job and the wife $600 at her job, for a total of $1,200. Since they're only entitled to $800 total as a couple, that means they would have to pay $400 back to the IRS -- or see their refund reduced by that amount.

• Anyone who receives income from a rental property or investment, such as interest and dividends.
  

• Anyone who started receiving their credit at the end of February or anytime in March.

You should really look at this and get your self sorted out before you come up short next year when you go to look at your taxes. The government is going to "let you keep more of your money". I remember the Republicans had a plan to do this back in the 80s and 90s. It never passed because "it was stupid and irresponsible" to let the American public spend their own money.

So back on track, you get to keep more of your paycheck, BUT they may let you keep TOO MUCH of your check which would cause you to come up short next year.
This last paragraph applies to my situation at work.

Conversely, if your employer doesn't start your payments until the end of April or in May -- there's no penalty if an employer doesn't meet the April 1 deadline -- you may end up getting a little less of a credit than you're entitled to, in which case you can claim the rest when you file your 2009 tax return.

I wish I understood the smoke and mirrors of the tax code better. I don't like it when they jack with my current (imposed by the wife) system that ensures we get a big return every year. Which is kinda silly, but it's better than having to pay, I guess.

Massive debt? Big deal. Two wars? Whatever. Removing phosphates from dishwasher detergent? WOLVERINES

At issue here is . . . an environmental regulation relating to dishwasher detergent.
That is one of the funniest Fark.com headlines EVAR.

I read this article and maybe I skipped a word but I don't get it. Probably more specifically I don't get the writing style.

Queen rocks some show tunes on her new iPod

LONDON - Oklahoma's state song is among those included on an iPod given today to Queen Elizabeth II by President Barack Obama.

Obama and first lady Michelle Obama also presented the queen with a rare coffee table book of songs by composers Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart that Rodgers had signed in May 1952.

To bring the 240-plus page book to life, the iPod was loaded with 40 classic show tunes, including several from "Camelot," which was based on the King Arthur legend, and "My Fair Lady," which was set in London.

Also on the iPod was the song "Oklahoma!" from the musical of the same name.

I'm sure she was "not amused".

Scituate “Green Death” soccer coach resigns

A girls soccer coach who told parents of his 6- and 7-year-old charges that he expected his players to “kick ass” has resigned.

Michael Kinahan says he “meant to give parents a chuckle” but that people took his message on a the team he dubbed “Green Death” the wrong way.

In an e-mail message to parents last week, Kinahan wrote that the girls on his team would “fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding).

“The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines,” he added.

Kinahan resigned after parents protested to league officials. Other parents have said they support his approach, said Chris Park, the registrar for the Scituate Youth Soccer League.

“He’s got a wry, sarcastic sense of humor. I think this whole thing just blew up on him,” Park said.

This is exactly the reason we can't get parents to coach youth sports. Coaches willing to step up have the same want as most of the parents, who want their kids to get something out of the experience. They expect the children to learn something about life and struggle and expect the sport to build character. Then there are the other PC parents who have cobs up their butts and their children will become worthless and require the intervention of their mommies for the rest of their lives.

America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world.
...
Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?

Hear, hear coach!!
Grow a pair America. Our youth are our greatest treasure and we need to build them up and let them strive and struggle and live and learn. Making everything easy for them and protecting them all the time is making them weak. This coach is awesome. And if I had received this email, I would have laughed heartily at his humor and all the while realized that he would have build some character in my child.

Why do they help them?

A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday.

A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.

Why do the 911 people help these idiots? Don't they realize these people are diluting the gene pool?

Arrr, I don't see anything wrong with it

Update:
While looking through some pictures of the Medieval Fair held each year in Norman I ran across this statue's sister.

Here it is...


As far as I know, no Catholic priests are protesting.

Still Numero Uno

Yes indeed. I have survived the weekend at Number One for players on NewsOK.com. I now only share the top spot with danmadonna. I'm pretty sure I don't win anything. But it's been fun to play and be at the top for two weeks.

Perfect Running Pace Revealed

Most regular runners can tell you when they reach that perfect equilibrium of speed and comfort. The legs are loose, the heart is pumping and it feels like you could run at this pace forever.

Researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison now have an explanation for this state of running nirvana, and we can thank our ancestors and some evolutionary biology for it.

This latest research could offer some more clues of how we moved on to running. Steudel explains, "This is a piece in the question of whether walking or running was more important in the evolution of the body form of the genus Homo."

Question: Have you ever been chased by a lion, bear, panther, or a pick up truck full of rednecks?
If you have, then you know the answer to the walk run question and why it was more important to run than to walk for the species Homo.
Where's my freaking grant money?

GM CEO Wagoner forced out as part of gov't plan

DETROIT – Time and time again, General Motors Corp.'s board of directors reaffirmed its support for Chairman and CEO Rick Wagoner, even as the company piled up billions of dollars in losses and begged for government loans to stay alive.

But Wagoner is now a high-profile casualty of government intervention, forced out as part of the Obama administration's sweeping last-ditch effort to save the century-old auto giant.

This is a great example of political theater as the article put it. This guy has received way too much face time, and the media has pinned all this on him even though he has done more to correct the problem than anyone.

Enjoy your retirement Rick.

You've got to be kidding? A mosquito laser?

Star Wars scientists have found a new target: mosquitoes.

Some of the same experts who dreamed up the 1980s Star Wars missile shield idea to protect America from nuclear attacks have helped develop a laser that targets airborne insects. The idea is to zap and kill mosquitoes, which are partly responsible for up to 500 million cases of malaria, West Nile virus and dengue fever that kill more than 1 million people each year, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Dubbed the Weapon of Mosquito Destruction (WMD), the device is a handheld laser gun that detects the audio frequency of the insects’ beating wings. The killer laser technology is funded by the Bill Gates Foundation and developed by astrophysicist and former Microsoft exec Nathan Myhrvold.

Awesome...money well wasted. I thought this was a joke when I first read the article. Hopefully this isn't just a big mental masterbation exercise for some egg heads wasting Bill's hard earned money (wink wink).

This is a crap article anyway. Reading the rest of the article it's not very helpful in keeping the blood sucking bastards off of you. Do what you know already, better living through chemistry.