Friday, March 27, 2009

2 students arrested in bomb threat

Tempe police arrested two teenage girls Thursday on suspicion of sending false bomb threats to Corona del Sol High School in Tempe last week, resulting in the closure of the school last Friday.

Authorities believe the girls used the bomb threat as a way to miss a day of school, said Sgt. Steve Carbajal, public information officer for Tempe police, in a press conference.

Police said Godson had a court date to meet on Friday, but was told that she only had one more day of unexcused absence. Godson wanted to attend senior ditch day later on in the year, and the closure of school on Friday allowed Godson to meet her court date and save her last absence.

Well, how about that! With a plan like this I'm surprised they let her graduate. I mean seriously, fake kidnapping and a bomb miss a single day of class?

Now she has all of her final days off. Welcome to GED class dumbass.

When I was in high school we had a kid slash all the tires on the buses so they didn't have to take a test the next day.
That's valedictorian smart.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

STUDY: Women More Attracted To Men In Expensive Cars

A UK university's released a study proving what any car salesman's ever told us, women judge men primarily by wealth and status, digging guys in expensive cars more than those driving an econobox.
The survey, run by researchers at the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff, claims it shows women rate a man higher if he is behind the wheels of a "fancy motor rather than in an old banger." The University team showed women pictures of the same man sitting in two cars — a $100,000 silver Bentley Continental and a battered Ford Fiesta.

I truly love the Bentleys. But I could not in a million years justify that kind of expense for an automobile. My Land Rovers will have to suffice.

Now for a little piece of my own research. When I met my wife I was driving a 1973 Dodge pickup. Here is a picture of one.

Yes, that color is "Super Banana". My dad bought it from a surplus sale at the F.A.A. in Oklahoma City where he worked. Now, for the part of "how this picture is different from the one I drove". Picture the same truck with about 50% rust on the body, faded paint, no air conditioning, floor boards rusted out ala Fred Flintstone-style. And mostly covered in stains from red mud that would not wash off. My best friend and I used the hood for a table to paint our Halloween costumes in 1986 or 1987. I'm sure you get the picture.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, and she still dated me?! I was surprised too, believe me. So if you are currently without a lady friend, have some hope. Somewhere out there is a gem of a gal who really doesn't care all that much about what you have parked in your garage or in front of your apartment a bad part of town... She will ignore your crappy automobile, and see you for the man you will become, not for the man you are that day.

But just in case you have the social skills of an eighth grade audio visual nerd go ahead and get the Bentley or at least a nice Range Rover Sport.

Daniel Hannan

He could very well be speaking to our own leaders.

Why Toddlers Don't Do What They're Told

Are you listening to me? Didn't I just tell you to get your coat? Helloooo! It's cold out there...

So goes many a conversation between parent and toddler. It seems everything you tell them either falls on deaf ears or goes in one ear and out the other. But that's not how it works.

Toddlers listen, they just store the information for later use, a new study finds.

The pupil measurements showed that 3-year-olds neither plan for the future nor live completely in the present. Instead, they call up the past as they need it.

You could substitute any age of "teenager" into that sentence as well and explain the behavior of my kids to a "T".

I promise you those kids are plotting the downfall of our society as we know it.

States consider drug tests for welfare recipients

CHARLESTON, W.Va. – Want government assistance? Just say no to drugs.

Lawmakers in at least eight states want recipients of food stamps, unemployment benefits or welfare to submit to random drug testing.

The effort comes as more Americans turn to these safety nets to ride out the recession. Poverty and civil liberties advocates fear the strategy could backfire, discouraging some people from seeking financial aid and making already desperate situations worse.

I say good! IF you already have a problem with substance abuse you can get help. But if you are a dead beat, sittin' home doing drugs all day and want a free hand out...YOU DON'T GET A THING.

I would say we should go even one better and make job training or service to others a condition to receiving the check as well.

Personal responsibility is a good thing, it's slightly less good when the government has to enforce it.

As you can see on the pie chart, this has been a popular thing for quite a while.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Penis Pump Judge wants his retirement pay again

A former Creek County judge convicted of indecent exposure is asking an Oklahoma County judge to reinstate his judicial retirement pay.

Donald D. Thompson was getting $7,789 a month when his judicial retirement benefits were cut off in September 2006.

He lost those benefits on grounds his conduct violated his oath of office.

Thompson, 62, filed a petition Friday challenging that decision by the Oklahoma Public Employees Retirement System.

I'll make it easy for the judge. How about no. You are an embarrassment to the entire State of Oklahoma. You violated the trust of the people you served and should be run out of the state on a rail covered in tar and feathers.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Ashton's a cheeky bastard

Marrying a man 15 years your junior does have a down side - just ask Demi Moore.

In a particularly immature move, the actress' husband Ashton Kutcher posted a picture of her derrière on his personal Twitter site.

The Punk'd host, 31, photographed the 46-year-old actress while she was bending over in a white bikini and wrote to his thousands of followers: 'Shhh!, don't tell wifey.'

I don't normally propagate these celebrity stories but this one I thought was a bit different with the Twitter angle.

Thank you Ashton. She commented on the pic on her Twitter page.

That'll do pig

Owner Wendy Scudamore believes her talented porker could not only beat canine competitors in an agility contest, but even turn out to be a real-life Babe and learn how to herd sheep just like the pig in the hit movie.

She has introduced Sue, a Kune Kune pig, one of the world's smallest breeds, to her flock at her Herefordshire farm and, judging from these pictures, despite being only 2ft tall, he certainly appears to have the masterful air necessary to keep them in line.

Pigs are not only delicious, apparently they are pretty smart too.

Beware of ladies with pink handcuffs

“Bend down,” Lisa tells me as we cruise past a pickup truck at a deserted Garden Grove park about 10 p.m.

Her twin sister Teresa crouches in the trunk of our rented Ford Fusion and I’m in the back seat with a notebook. Tonight I’m riding with bounty hunters — you know, like Duane “Dog” Chapman. They carry no guns. But they’re willing to pepper-spray or taze unwilling fugitives, tackle men three times their size and, some nights, slap them in girly PINK handcuffs.

I think this is another example of women using their femine whiles to the advantage. Who wouldn't stop to see what either of the agents had to say?