Friday, January 23, 2009

Report: Ex-Gitmo detainee joins al-Qaida in Yemen


CAIRO, Egypt – A Saudi man released from Guantanamo after spending nearly six years inside the U.S. prison camp is now the No. 2 of Yemen's al-Qaida branch, according to a purported Internet statement from the terror network.

The announcement, made this week on a Web site commonly used by militants, came as President Barack Obama ordered the detention facility closed within a year. Many of the remaining detainees are from Yemen, which has long posed a vexing terrorism problem for the U.S.

Nearly everyone of these fascists we let loose winds up shooting at us again.
They are ENEMIES of our country.
They have no rights under our country's laws.
STOP this crazy "we need to show compassion for them crap."
They want us dead. If given the chance they would kill you where you stand.
Do them a favor and martyr them.
You will never win their hearts and minds...NEVER.

Where the hell is MY flying car? Oh right there, thanks

The aptly named Transition takes a stab at bridging the gap between automobiles and airplanes. Some people call it a flying car. The company designing and selling the vehicle prefers the term "roadable aircraft."

Either way, it boils down to this: You sit down behind the steering wheel, drive to the runway, unfold two wings and take off. You can fly 500 miles on a tank of gas — regular unleaded —and when you land, you simply fold up the wings and drive where you want to go. At the end of the day, you fly back, drive home and park inside your garage.

I'm not sure our society AS A WHOLE is ready for flying cars. We still have people who can't drive cars in 2 dimensional space. How the hell are they going to operate flying cars?

I can just imagine the accident interview with a flying car sticking out of my house.


Police Officer: Okay ma'am can you explain what happened?

22 year old Blonde: Okay so like, I was like totally flying along and like this bird totally flew in front of my carplane and I was like freaked out by it. So I texted Gina and said, "this bird totally just freaked me out".

Police Officer: You were texting while driving?


22 year old Blonde: Yeah, well, I can text without looking at the phone so it was cool.


Police Officer: Oh...so continue how did you find yourself crashed into this house?


22 year old Blonde: Okay yah, like Gina texted me back and I was like yah! So I looked down at the dash and one of those red lights came on. I didn't know what that meant so I just kept flying.


Police Officer number two: It was her low fuel light.


22 year old Blonde: It was? Like what does that mean?


Police Officer: You are out of fuel.


22 year old Blonde: Fuel?


Police Officer: Gas.


22 year old Blonde: OH! Yah my dad said it was low and to fill it up on my way to school.


Police Officer: I'm guessing you didn't.


22 year old Blonde: No, I was going to but, I got this text this morning while I was flying to school from Tomi, and her boyfriend was totally making out with Brenda last night at the Warren....


We are doomed.

Smarter than you will ever be


Eighth grader Charlie Sobcov wants to stop birds from dying in collisions with windows, but he doesn't want to ruin anybody's view.

For his latest school science fair project he has invented painted, plastic decals that can be placed — discreetly — right in the middle of a window pane.

"This paint is a colour that birds can see but humans can't," he said Wednesday on CBC Radio's All in a Day. "It's like putting a big stop sign in the middle of the window."

The colour is ultraviolet, beyond the range of colours visible to humans. That means the "stop sign" lets birds know the window is solid, but is nearly invisible to humans.

Clever boy.
You've got to love the enthusiasm and absolute lack of cynicism in today's youth. My niece said she wanted to be a doctor. We were very encouraging until she said she wanted to be a "not for profit" doctor. We tried to explain to her that after she goes to school at that level for 10 or 12 years she'll sing a different tune. I think we have that straightened out now.

T-Shirt Pokes Fun At Mayor Sex Scandal


PORTLAND, Ore. -- A Portland-based business is already cashing in on a sex scandal involving Mayor Sam Adams.

Penfifteentees.com is selling shirts that read "Portland, Oregon: Where You Only Have to Be 18 To Enjoy A Sam Adams." The owners of the T-shirt company said they jumped on the idea when it came to them.

Adams, a 45-year-old Democrat, admitted Monday that he lied about a relationship with Beau Breedlove, a former teenage intern.

Get a shirt here.
That's funny. There are some pretty good t-shirts over there. Enjoy.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

This really sucks

A 20-YEAR-OLD model who was a finalist to represent Brazil in the Miss World contest has had her hands and feet amputated after contracting a severe urinary infection, media reports said today.

Mariana Bridi da Costa was sedated in a hospital in Serra, in the southeastern state of Espirito Santo, and on artificial respiration following the procedures, according to several newspapers.

Lets hope she gets the treatment and care that will save her life.

Kennedy cites 'personal reasons' for ending bid


ALBANY, N.Y. – Caroline Kennedy has ended her quest for the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton, halting a campaign that began with popular support but withered quickly over criticism about her experience and her reluctance to answer questions about her finances.

Is the love affair with ALL THINGS KENNEDY over?

So it was personal reasons and had absolutely nothing to do with her being completely unqualified for the job. I'm so relieved.

Fark.com's headline was truly classic for this story

"I, you know, informed Governor Paterson today, you know, um, that for personal reasons, you know, I am withdrawing my name, um, you know, from consideration for the, er, you know, United States Senate" Okay, so NOW it's official

Labrador Retriever still America's favorite dog

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) – The Labrador Retriever is the most popular pure-bred dog in the United States for the 18th consecutive year, according to the American Kennel Club.

The Yorkshire Terrier came in second place with nearly 42,000 registrations, followed by the German Shepherd, the Golden Retriever, the Beagle, the Boxer and the Dachshund.

YORKSHIRE TERRIER?!?!? WTF?
Damn you Paris Hilton.


Anyone caught saying Awwwwww to the picture above will be executed.

German Shepherds PWN all other dog breeds.

I told you so


WASHINGTON – After the flub heard around the world, President Barack Obama has taken the oath of office. Again. Chief Justice John Roberts delivered the oath to Obama on Wednesday night at the White House — a rare do-over. The surprise moment came in response to Tuesday's much-noticed stumble, when Roberts got the words of the oath a little off, which prompted Obama to do so, too.

I told you so. I knew nobody would shut up about this.

Welcome to Washington, DC. And I have some advice for the president. Don't let them pull you around like this. You have enough to do without worrying about bullshit like this.

You know you shouldn't EVER believe what the polls say right?
Learn from your predecessors. Clinton was lead all over the place by polls. Bush not so much. Somewhere in the middle would suit you right.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

SQUIRREL APPRECIATION DAY Is January 21: Are You Ready?


Today is squirrel appreciation day. While everyone can celebrate squirrels in their own way, we wanted to point you to some useful resources around the Web to get you started.

I didn't know...but I will next year.

Hot for Teacher, Louisiana Style


In what has become a disturbing trend nationally, another local teacher has been arrested for being involved with a student.
Friday, Jan. 16 detectives of the Vernon Parish Sheriff’s Office arrested Kendra Hoffpauir, 24, of Leesville.
Hoffpauir has been charged with felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile and contributing to the delinquicy of a juvenile.

I'll first correct the spelling on delinquency.
Second, I'll never ever understand this.

Successful...no one died, everyone got home safely


With well over 1 million people jammed into downtown Washington yesterday, the biggest inaugural security and safety operation in the city's history faced an array of challenges: There were lost children and cold-related medical emergencies, suspicious packages and stalled lines at police checkpoints -- even a potential terrorist threat from overseas.

"All of us in law enforcement want to thank most the cooperative, patient, orderly citizens who attended," said Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan, whose agency oversaw a security effort that involved the military and more than 50 law enforcement and public safety agencies.

D.C. Fire Chief Dennis L. Rubin said his department had transported more than 200 people attending the inauguration events to hospitals by early evening.

Hospitals reported treating several dozen people, most for cold-related ailments and others for partying too hard. Officials said 750 people were treated at first aid stations on the Mall, but none of the cases was serious, officials said. About 30 children were separated from their parents but were reunited, police said.

This is amazing actually. One million people showed up and there were no serious problems? Good job with your manners everyone! Give your self a cookie.

Congress as usual went short on the funding. It cost around 30$(US) per attendee or around 30 million for security and getting everything "just so". Congress gave DC 15 million to cover the expenses. Nice work there dumbasses. So when DC calls later in the month having trouble getting next month's rent together, have a heart would ya and give them some more lunch money.

Who are you, my mother?

Cold and flu season is here, filling the streets with a great chorus of coughing, dripping, hacking, sniffling humanity. And there's one cheap, easy, clinically proven way to avoid joining them.
Wash your hands.
Here's the drill: Scrub vigorously with...

Seriously? This is news? Was there nothing else to report on today?
WTH? Is there any wonder your paper is having trouble with circulation?

Everyone had a ball, hung over and making decisions today


WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Barack Obama, fresh from the pageantry of his historic inauguration, will turn on Wednesday toward his goals of rescuing the economy, charting a new course for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and shaping his approach to the Middle East conflict.

You couldn't have drug me out of the ball where Shakira was performing.

Good luck today President Obama. It's going to be a fun day. Remember when the gentlemen that have been running the various parts of the government say, "no, I'm sorry that's not going to work", consider it learning curve. Changing the "Washington Way" is not going to be any fun.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

First inauguration for Roberts as chief justice


WASHINGTON – Chief Justice John Roberts stumbled slightly over the 35-word constitutionally prescribed oath of office as he swore in Barack Obama as the 44th president on Tuesday, sending the new chief executive into a verbal detour of his own.

Be prepared for the pundits to discuss whether the oath was official or not because of the gaff.
Hopefully in four years he will get to give the oath again. (wink, wink)

Good luck President Obama.

Hope, Expectations Soar Ahead of Obama Inauguration

WASHINGTON -- For most of the public on the National Mall Tuesday, their best view will be of a jumbo television screen. Hundreds of thousands had filled into the 2-mile stretch of parkland hours before Barack Obama was to take his oath of office.

The outpouring of so many people -- smiling people -- to celebrate the inauguration of America's 44th president by itself sends a signal about the expectations that will tug at Obama once he is sworn in Tuesday.


I wish him luck in running the country. It's a damn hard job.

Here's a photo montage of the preparations.

Fark headline: Kiwi survives nine days stranded in Shania Twain's bush. That don't impress me much


A HELICOPTER has rescued a lone Adelaide hiker who survived nine days in a hut in rugged New Zealand bush country on just muesli bars and Weetbix. A search and rescue crew picked up the woman who began a solo hike near the South Island town of Wanaka last week but soon realised she was not sufficiently well equipped or fit enough for the trek.

She made it to a hut on the trail - known as the Shania Twain track as it crosses land owned by the Canadian singer and has been largely funded by her.

She managed to survive for 9 days the bush. I think I could last longer. Actually I'm certain of it.

Deadliest weapon so far... the plague


At least 40 al-Qaeda fanatics died horribly after being struck down with the disease that devastated Europe in the Middle Ages.

The killer bug, also known as the plague, swept through insurgents training at a forest camp in Algeria, North Africa. It came to light when security forces found a body by a roadside.

How sweet would this be? The plague wipes out our greatest enemy? That would be awesome.