Friday, December 5, 2008

Happy Birthday Sally


My number one female reader is celebrating her birthday this weekend. From her Facebook page it looks like she may already be celebrating.

Dec 2, Sally can't sleep!
Dec 3, Sally is sooooi excited!!
Dec 4, Sally is heavenly!

So I'm not really sure what she has in store for this weekend but it sounds like it's going to be a great deal of fun.

So here's to you Sally. You are a superior example of an excellent mom and I have it on good authority you are a great wife. You deserve the best for your birthday so here's a piece of Marine Cheesecake and I'm sure he is happy to wish you all the best this weekend. He looks happy to me. And no, he is not carrying a gun in this picture. He's just happy to be there.

Happy Birthday!

I hope you have a great weekend.

Steve: I know you know it's Sally's birthday on Sunday, but just in case I thought I should remind you. Good luck. If you need some tips on throwing the perfect last minute birthday for your wife be sure and give me a call.

Prescription Hand Guns For Elderly, Brilliant


A small arms manufacturer in the US is taking deposits for a gun specially designed for elderly and disabled people, who may be able to get it on prescription.

And it goes on to say: "It is ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have dexterity limitations or difficulty sighting and controlling a traditional revolver or semi-automatic pistol."

American ingenuity, where there is a will to arm people with dexterity limitations, there will be a way. The last people that need guns are people who can't control them. And there is a bit of a safety issue here as well, people recognize guns. They are shaped like, well guns are shaped. This thing is not really shaped like a traditional firearm. So to those who think it's an inhaler, well I guess in some small way they are cleaning up the gene pool.
Is it any wonder the rest of the world thinks we are off our rockers?

Bratz are no more


LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – A federal judge in California on Wednesday ordered MGA Entertainment Inc to stop selling its popular Bratz dolls and banned it from using the Bratz name, finding that "hundreds" of Bratz products infringe on copyrights owned by rival toymaker Mattel Inc.
U.S. District Judge Stephen Larson also ordered MGA to recall all Bratz dolls from retailers and to destroy "specialized plates, molds and matrices" used to make the dolls, according to a permanent injunction issued late on Wednesday, but stayed until at least early next year.

Fans of the dolls should rush to the stores. Check eBay in just a few weeks for some outrageous prices for these "collector's items".
I thought the dolls were a little creepy anyway.

This is not art, free speech maybe, not art


OBERLIN -- A northern Ohio artist known for envelope-pushing holiday displays is back -- with Santa Claus in a wheelchair being pushed down stairs by a crazed tree.

The Santa in Keith McGuckin's installation at the Oberlin Public Library has no legs because of an accident involving alcohol and some power lines. An accompanying narrative explains that the tree later goes off to a strip club with money from Santa's Salvation Army kettle.

Library director Darren McDonough says the latest display is staying. He jokes that if a library doesn't have something that offends, it's not doing its job.

What? I didn't get that memo about my library. That wasn't in my Library Science class at OU either.
And what do you think the chances are this art was funded by your tax dollars?

I can see the humor in this "piece". I'm just not sure it's appropriate for the public library.

Hot for teacher, New Jersey style


An Old Bridge High School drama teacher was arrested today on charges she had a sexual relationship with a male student that started in February, authorities said.

Lisa Glide, 35, of Howell Township, Monmouth County, faces a second-degree charges of sexual assault and child endangerment, Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan said in a statement issued today.

What can one say? This gal is cute, young, educated, is she just not interested in men in her own generation?

Festival of Eid? WTH is that?


A SCHOOL’S traditional Christmas pantomime was scrapped to make way for the Muslim festival of Eid, it emerged yesterday.

Furious parents were told the planned performance of Cinderella had to be pulled because some pupils wanted to celebrate Eid at home with their families.

But the decision sparked a backlash from parents, prompting a grovelling apology from staff who hastily re-arranged the festive play for the new year.


For the love of Pete, GROW A PAIR! So who is this spineless headmaster that caved to the Eid festival? You all that are frequent readers are probably able to grasp that I know a bit about the universe and this may be hard to believe but I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE FESTIVAL OF EID. Perhaps neither have you.

A commenter to the story has it right.

Janette Lynch, whose seven- year-old son Keanu attends the school, said: “The head has a whole year to plan for Eid and so she should be able to plan for both
religious festivals. I have never heard of this at a school.
I'm as inclusive as the next guy. Hell, I'd love to hear about Eid. Hell, I'd even love to celebrate Eid.
Bring on the funky food dishes I've never had before. But don't tell me that the holiday I celebrate is being preempted for one I've never heard of. That's not INCLUSIVE. If the Christians in England don't want their holidays mucked about they should import some good old fashioned rednecks from Northern Mississippi. It would solve several problems.
Thin the herd in Mississippi.
Bring in some parents you don't want to have pissed off.
Christmas would be on Christmas.
They would bring beer to the children's class parties.

In the US they are going to party like it's 1933


Tonight is the 75th anniversary of the end of Prohibition – of 5 December 1933 when Utah became the deciding 36th state to ratify the 21st amendment to the constitution, and restore to the country's citizens the basic human right to go out and have a drink.

So get out there and tip a glass to the only amendment that pwned another amendment.

Cheers.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Yellow...seriously?



NEW YORK – Enough gloom and doom: There's a prediction from a leading color source that cheerful and sunny yellow will be the influential color of 2009.

Awww, bad news. Yellow is the color of sickness, trouble and strife in the Cherokee cosmological world view.

For more on the meaning of colors.

Holy Crap


After watching Coleville score on its first nine possessions Saturday, Pahranagat Valley football coach Ken Higbee decided his team’s only chance to win was to keep the ball away from the Wolves.

Yeah, you don't see that everyday. Where was ESPN?

Lies, all lies, trust me

An imperfect body might be just what the doctor ordered for women and key to their economic success, an anthropologist now says.

While pop culture seems to worship the hourglass figure for females, with a tiny waist, big boobs and curvy hips à la Marilyn Monroe, this may not be optimal, says Elizabeth Cashdan of the University of Utah.

Why on God's green earth are they spending hard earned money on research like this at the University of Utah?

Here, let me give you a short counter-study to disprove their weakly executed study.

Heidi Klum, Kathy Ireland, And these gals all have hourglass shapes. What else do they have in common? Yeah they are all multi-millionaires. And using the term multi-millionaire equals economic success. So who's laughing now?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

WTF?!?!?

Say what! Ok so I'm thinking about starting a new video series called WTF. So here we go.
WTF Japanese are crazy!

Bah, humbug

Yeah! the Christmas shopping season is upon us!

Wait, I didn't mean to say "yeah" I meant to say bah, humbug.

Hey people, haven't you heard there is a recession going on?
Haven't you heard of de-forestation? Global warming?

Only one in five? How about that, I thought it was higher


Almost one in five young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life, and even more abuse alcohol or drugs, researchers reported Monday in the most extensive study of its kind.

Only one in five reporters can write a proper sentence using the correct tense of plural verbs. Coincidence?

One expert said personality disorders may be overdiagnosed. But others said the results were not surprising since previous, less rigorous evidence has suggested mental problems are common on college campuses and elsewhere.

Only one expert said personality disorders were OVER (space) DIAGNOSED? I would have thought more than ONE would give that response if more than 5 were asked.

To the reporter who fabricated (I can't call this article writing) this story: If you are wondering why you still don't have a BY LINE, you should spend your next paycheck on a proper grammar checker. Or just have your mom read the articles BEFORE you submit them.

Here's some research for you, DDDN studios conducted a survey and everyone has something not quite right about them and nine in ten of youth diagnosed with a disorder are "just going through a phase". But don't take our word for it, because I certainly don't want you to MSNBC's word for it either.

No you can't


Sharon Withrow's neighbors are humbugging out about the "Yes We Can" message she wrote in red, white and blue lights on the roof of her home in southeast Aurora's Tuscany subdivision.

The soulless missives, both signed by the association's "Client Services Department," turn out to have been written by Rana Valentine, a humorless functionary for a company called Hammersmith Management Inc. Valentine wouldn't identify the two neighbors who lacked the backbone to complain directly to Withrow.

Hammersmith's lawyer says Withrow's 4-by-15-foot display constitutes a political sign, which the association's covenants dictate may be no larger than 3 feet by 4 feet. Rules require that political signs be "removed no later than seven days after an election."

Welcome to the People's Republic of Colorado.

This opinion piece written by Susan Greene, (with superfluous E) apparently doesn't get it. Covenants are created by uptight retirees and subdivision developers to keep people from junking up the houses in their neighborhoods where they just spent their last dimes on houses they don't want to see LOOSE value from the day they bought them.

We have covenants in our neighborhood as well. No campers, no boats, hide your trashcans, that kind of stuff. A small camper doesn't junk up the neighborhood unless it's been sitting in the same place for 24 years. I loved my neighbor who did this. And it never really bothered me. But the "association" hated it.

Allowing boats is fine right up to the point when the guy next door moves in that 32 foot cabin cruiser that you couldn't launch in any lake in a 200 mile radius. It's all good though, in 25 more years no one will know or care about the covenants in your neighborhood and you'll be dead, congrats, trust me all that strife was worth it.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Pentagon to detail military to bolster security


The U.S. military expects to have 20,000 uniformed troops inside the United States by 2011 trained to help state and local officials respond to a nuclear terrorist attack or other domestic catastrophe, according to Pentagon officials.

The long-planned shift in the Defense Department's role in homeland security was recently backed with funding and troop commitments after years of prodding by Congress and outside experts, defense analysts said.

There are critics of the change, in the military and among civil liberties groups and libertarians who express concern that the new homeland emphasis threatens to strain the military and possibly undermine the Posse Comitatus Act, a 130-year-old federal law restricting the military's role in domestic law enforcement.

So if we have a law against it...how are they doing it?

If the election didn't scare the shiatsu out of you this should. How many movies should I list that you need to see that show you how this dystopian future will play out? Start with V for Vendetta, then Children of Men...you ought to have the picture by the end of either. Enjoy! The good news is I can still out shoot most National Guard troops and at least half the Army dogs I've met and I'm old and out of shape.

India demands strong action from Pakistan


MUMBAI, India – India demanded Monday that Pakistan take "strong action" against those behind the deadly Mumbai attacks, and Washington pressured Islamabad to cooperate with the investigation.

The only known surviving attacker told police that his group trained for months in camps operated by a banned Pakistani militant group, learning close-combat techniques, explosives training and other tactics for their three-day siege.

And so it begins. If anyone was wondering where the Taliban would pop up next...just try any country not spending 10 billion a day fighting a war against these fuckers.

Good work guys...sadly "I told you so" is not appropriate right now


U.S. intelligence agencies warned their Indian counterparts in mid-October of a potential attack "from the sea against hotels and business centers in Mumbai," a U.S. intelligence official tells ABCNews.com.

A second government source says specific locations, including the Taj hotel, were listed in the U.S. warning.

This is a sad thing. I was talking to my friend's dad about this the other day and told him that this was just another attack to make the Indians draw back from the frontier where the Taliban and al-Qaeda will run rampant. They will be asking us to move troops in before Obama is done with his first term.

Kalifornia is screwed...blue cause they are in the red


Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was expected to declare a fiscal emergency on Monday and call lawmakers into a special session to address California's $11.2 billion budget deficit.

California's revenue gap is expected to hit $28 billion over the next 19 months unless the governor and lawmakers take bold steps. Schwarzenegger and Democrats have proposed a combination of tax hikes and spending cuts, but Republican lawmakers have remained steadfast in their refusal to raise taxes.



Let's just recount. The big three automakers want 25 billion, Kalifornia is going to need 28 billion within the next year or so. Yeah that's pretty screwed up. Good luck with that. Don't be flying to DC to ask for cash.

I recommend you start with charging some tuition at those pricey colleges. Next I recommend you get all the free (non-tax paying) labor to START PAYING TAXES and STOP SHIPPING THE MONEY TO MEXICO, GUATEMALA, COSTA RICA, CHINA, VIETNAM, etc...