Friday, October 31, 2008

OU vs Nebraska


I didn't know Bo Pellini could issue a driver impairment test. I'm not sure he's gonna find anything if Bob's on the sidelines.

GPS fun

Brazilian model displays lingerie with a GPS device attached (the dark square on her waist, on the left), seen on October 30, in Parana, Brazil. Lingerie maker Lucia Iorio says her new design targets the modern, techno-savvy woman, but the GPS-equipped "Find Me If You Can" line has raised the hackles of feminists who call it a 21st-century chastity belt.

I need to get my wife one of these!
Find me if you can?
Hmmmmmm
Gives an entirely new meaning to geo-caching.

Fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round


Doctors shouldn't assume that their overweight female patients aren't having sex, because they are, more often that women of normal weight, a new study suggests.
The study by researchers in Oregon, Hawaii and Colorado explodes "the stereotype that you have to be slender to have sex," said lead author Bliss Kaneshiro, a researcher at the University of Hawaii.
Before you start freaking out about the word obese. Remember this chart:

So for your humble editor: when I was 210 pounds I was obese.
When I was 210 pounds most people told me I looked fine, "why do you need to loose weight?"
So for me to be in my healthy weight range I would need to weigh less than 175 pounds. Seriously.

A friend of my wife and I gave us some advice when we first got married. She said, "One of you has to be skinny if you are going to 'be gettin' it on'. Cause if both of you are fat it just don't work."

In any event. Suck it skinny people.

Get on your bikes and ride!

The Venerable Pumpkin


Why do we make Jack-o-lanterns?
A standout among freaks and monsters, the nutritious pumpkin may be Halloween's most famous symbol. The practice of carving and lighting the gourd is a Celtic custom brought to America by Irish immigrants, who used the more-plentiful turnip back home. Glowing, frightening faces emanating from the pumpkins were meant to frighten off the evil spirits thought to roam the streets on Oct. 31, the Celtic New Year's Eve.
The family at DDDN studios carves pumpkins every year to ward off the evil spirits. I have photo album up on my Facebook page if you are interested.

DSCOVR Mission May Be Gutted


Here is the latest twist in the bizarre story about the Deep Space Climate Observatory (DSCOVR). Apparently, the US Air Force is in discussions with NASA to take over the mission, with one important catch: that all the Earth observing instruments be removed.
DSCOVR is unique experiment that would place a spacecraft at a gravitational parking spot 100 million miles away where it could continuously observe the Earth as it circles the sun.
This unique vantage point would allow us for the first time to directly measure the energy budget of our warming planet. This spacecraft would also immediately lay to rest any remaining scientific questions about the origins or seriousness of climate change.
But the Air Force wants to send it up without the earth monitoring instruments that satellite was designed to use.
What on earth is going on at NASA and the Air Farce.

Did you smell something? Smells like burnt popcorn


A FIRE at a US nuclear missile launch site burned itself out and was undetected for five days, US military sources say.
The fire was only discovered on May 28 when a repair crew went to the the launch site about 160km northeast of Denver, in the southwest of the US, because a trouble signal indicated a wiring problem.
Wow. If only someone would invent a device that could detect fires this could have been possibly prevented.

Cricket fighting? WTF


Crickets bred for fighting at a Chinese market. Shanghai police have smashed a professional cricket fighting ring in a raid that snared the city's most notorious handler of the insects, state media reported Thursday.
In other news: They fight crickets in China and it's illegal.
Is this a case of silliness? I can see if the Shanghai police don't want unregulated gambling but if anyone believes crickets have rights and this is cruel we need to reboot the universe.

Nevada, Michigan, Florida lead 'underwater' list


Here's a shocker: almost half of Nevada homeowners with a mortgage owe more to the bank than their homes are worth.
Here's another: If you add in the homeowners like them in California, Arizona, Florida, Georgia and Michigan, together they account for nearly 60 percent of all homeowners who are "underwater" on their mortgages.
How about that. Just another reason why Oklahoma was voted one of the most recession proof states. My home value is up 10% since we bought it 3 years ago.

What?Too literal?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Is Barack Obama really a socialist?


By Donald J. Boudreaux Donald J. Boudreaux – Thu Oct 30, 4:00 am ET
Christian Science Monitor
Since telling Joe the Plumber of his wish to "spread the wealth around," Barack Obama is being called a socialist. Is he one?
No.
At least not in the classic sense of the term.
Could it (socialism) happen in America?
Consider the words of longtime Socialist Party of America presidential candidate Norman Thomas: "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened." In addition to Medicare, Social Security, and other entitlement programs, the gathering political momentum toward single-payer health care – which Obama has proclaimed is his ultimate goal – shows the prescience of Thomas's words.

Well said. If you accept the things that appear as socialism then eventually you are living in a socialist society without the labels.

I had a great debate with two of my best friends's wives on Facebook yesterday over this very subject. After a lively exchange everyone agreed on these facts:
  • No one is happy with the candidates they are being presented with
  • That I should run for President
  • Both sides have run to the extremes to identify themselves with the elitists of the parties
  • People want something done about health care in America
  • Josh is a big fat doo-doo head
  • Frank is a cuddly big fat doo-doo head

America will never be destroyed from the outside.

If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

~ Abraham Lincoln, 1863

Salon du Chocolat


Chocolate corset : Designer Anita Jakobson displays a creation made from chocolate at the 14th Chocolate fair (Salon du Chocolat) in Paris.
Mmmmmmm, chocolate.
Chocolate, is there anything it can't do?

Obama's prime-time ad skips over budget realities


WASHINGTON – Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama was less than upfront in his half-hour commercial Wednesday night about the costs of his programs and the crushing budget pressures he would face in office.
A sampling of what voters heard in the ad, and what he didn't tell them after the jump.
I did not watch the infomercial. I watched a few minutes of analysis and read some on the internet. So far it's what I expected in the first place.

Archaeologists report finding oldest Hebrew text


JERUSALEM (Reuters) – Archaeologists in Israel said on Thursday they had unearthed the oldest Hebrew text ever found, while excavating a fortress city overlooking a valley where the Bible says David slew Goliath.
Archaeologists at Hebrew University said carbon dating of artifacts found at the fortress site, about 20 km (12 miles) southwest of Jerusalem, indicate the Hebrew inscription was written some 3,000 years ago, predating the Dead Sea Scrolls by 1,000 years.
It's only five lines on a pot shard. But it's kinda cool they found it. I wonder which book it will be?

Standard Time resumes this weekend


Don't forget or you'll be an hour early for church on Sunday.
I love the myth that you gain an extra hour of sleep when you roll back the clock.

You gain the hour IF and only IF you go to bed an hour early each night until Daylight Savings Time begins again. You may get an extra hour of sleep overnight on Sunday but you loose that hour as you wait an extra hour for your clock to read your normal bedtime.

So if you want an extra hour of sleep next weekend too, just go to bed an hour early or sleep in an extra hour and you get the same affect.

W.T.H? ESP?

A simple answer, No
Review By ALAN SCHERSTUHL
Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
Your book might be crap if ... the title poses a question that any sensible person will dismiss with “No. Of course not. Why would you ask such a thing?”
Seriously? How do you manage to get crap like this published?
I have at least two books rolling around in my head at any one time and there is no serious expectation of ever getting published. MY MOTHER OWNS A PUBLISHING COMPANY and I don't think I'd ever get published.

Hot for Teacher, Kalifornia style


A music teacher at El Modena High School was arrested this month after police investigated an allegation of sexual misconduct between her and a male student, police said.
Carlie Rose Attebury, 29, of Orange, was arrested Oct. 13 at the Orange Police Department after detectives interviewed her about the allegations that were reported to them three days earlier, said Sgt. Dan Adams.
She was just trying to live up to the high standards of the former principal and band director.
Former Principal Brent Bailey resigned in February 2007 after a misdemeanor charge against him alleging lewd conduct in public. Bailey, accused of trying to engage in lewd activities at a park in Fullerton, pleaded guilty in June 2007 and received three years' probation.
Former band director Jason Cawelti was arrested on Dec. 5, 2003, on charges of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor. Cawelti pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse and oral copulation of a person younger than age 18 in June 2004. He was sentenced to 180 days in jail and three years' probation, which he completed in June 2007.
Awesome.
I wonder when someone will study this and write a book on why women do this. We know why men do it. From a man's perspective it makes little or no sense.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Cartoon by Rick McKee

Happy Halloween

Obama infomercial: Smart politics or risky overkill?


We can only hope it is RISKY OVERKILL.
Hopefully tonight everyone will get to see how their socialistic future will pan out if Obama wins the presidential election.
But I'm sure the folks that make greater than 250,000$, 200,000$, 150,000$, 125,000$ or whatever the number will be tomorrow, already know that redistribution of "wealth" is a bad thing.
I think it's funny they call it wealth. Wealth to me implies something that is extra. Let's see what the dictionary says...

wealth –noun
1. a great quantity or store of money, valuable possessions, property, or other riches: the wealth of a city.
2. an abundance or profusion of anything; plentiful amount: a wealth of imagery.
3. Economics.
a. all things that have a monetary or exchange value.
b. anything that has utility and is capable of being appropriated or exchanged.
4. rich or valuable contents or produce: the wealth of the soil.
5. the state of being rich; prosperity; affluence: persons of wealth and standing.

Yep just like I thought. It's a quantity above expenses. So by this measure I'm not wealthy. I'm just a regular schmo with a paycheck.

So remember this when you go to the polls, if you make a good salary you are affluent and have plenty of money, so much so that someone wants to take it from you and give to another in order to MAKE IT FAIR.

Because you know in your heart, we should all make the same amount of money, no matter if we don't work at all, work at McDonald's, or went to medical school or law school. We are all equal in the eyes of socialists and each and every comrade and their contribution is an integral part of society.

That sounds a little scary doesn't it?
If it doesn't, it should. Ask your grandpa about "the reds" and see what he says.

Nice tackle


I know many of you have seen this on many a replay show.
I just had to post it up for you to enjoy as the next week of college football begins.
I'm gonna have to say Wilbur Hackett Jr. must have been channeling his youthful days at Kentuckey where he was a linebacker and the first black captain of an SEC football team.
Either that or he's suffering from some PTSD from having to ref SEC football games.
Wilbur could be a big fan of Bud Light as well...we may never know.

Whither the weather: Wacky World Series on hold


PHILADELPHIA – Sooner or later, someone will win this World Series. Just not Tuesday night. Too wet. Besides, the baseball commissioner went home to Milwaukee. Maybe the Phillies and Rays can play ball Wednesday night. But snow showers are in the forecast.
Players and fans remained in limbo Tuesday, with Game 5 still suspended from the previous night. It was tied at 2 in the sixth inning when a steady downpour turned Citizens Bank Park into a quagmire, washing away the foul lines and turning home plate into a puddle.
The Phillies lead 3-1 in the best-of-seven matchup, meaning Philadelphia could be close to winning a championship the city desperately craves.
Tonight we'll either have a World Series winner or we'll have game five. I thought this was awful late to play the series and I was right. The major leagues sports need to stick to their seasons and stop extending their seasons.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Volkswagen Overtakes Exxon as Most Valuable Company


Oct. 28 (Bloomberg) -- Volkswagen AG became the world's biggest company by market value after Porsche SE announced plans to raise its stake in the German carmaker to 75 percent, triggering demand from short-sellers.
Volkswagen rose as much as 485.01 euros, or 93 percent, to 1,005.01 euros and was up 55 percent as of 11:10 a.m. in Frankfurt trading. Wolfsburg, Germany-based Volkswagen has risen more than fivefold this year and at its intraday peak was valued at 296 billion euros ($370 billion), more than Exxon Mobil Corp.'s $343 billion market value at yesterday's closing price in New York, according to data compiled by Bloomberg.
Short sellers just took a bath on Volkswagon.
That's what happens when you have a couple of very hot spokeswoman and a catchy message.

It all started with the "Un-Pimp your rides"



Heidi Klum


Brooke Shields in "The Routan Boom" 4:21

Ah, the good ol' days



Go ahead and cane those scurilous rats. No really go ahead. Persistent questioning only results in a nice cane upside your head.
What are they asking the Congressman?

On Friday, two [Democratic challenger Judy] Feder staffers approached Congressman Wolf in a public location to ask him some questions. Two different individuals who were accompanying Congressman Wolf (staffers? relatives? friends?) assaulted the Feder staffers, as you can see quite clearly in the video. The first Feder staffer was hit with a cane and then punched. The second staffer (as you will see on the video) was pinned to a wall and forcibly held there. All of this took place in the presence of Congressman Wolf, who stood by and did nothing to intervene.

I'm going to guess at this point, that Judy Feder's "supporters" have pestered the Congressman a bit too much. I'm sure when the Congressman is out with his lady and friends he doesn't want any punks with cameras asking him questions they already know his answers to.
They were lucky they weren't in Southeastern Oklahoma...they'd have been shot and their homes burned down for that.

In 1856 when men often caned each other for insults.
People had manners.
Today not so much.

Retired Rock Surgeon Robbed


ANDOVER — When the stock market took a nosedive, Joseph Stack of Andover withdrew money from a bank and kept it in his wallet.
But the 75-year-old made the mistake of letting people know he kept a lot of cash on him, police said, and he was beaten and robbed of $4,000 by two homeless men he served at a Lawrence soup kitchen where he volunteered.
The suspects, David G. Prescott, 45, and Wilfredo Santiago, 37, allegedly used some of the money to throw a booze and cocaine party at a Lawrence hotel, where they were arrested Saturday night.
Wow. I'm pretty sure no matter how old I get I will never "trust" people this much.

Maybe we should think of the positive. He provided a pretty good time for those two chaps. They slept in a warm hotel room and had lots of booze and some nice crack. They even invited another homeless woman to be with them and share in the bounty. It turns out she had been hired by Mr. Rocket Surgeon to clean his house in the past and she had taken 3000$ from him for the kindness of a job. What nice folks.

What surprises me is the two homeless guys stayed in a Holiday Inn Express and yet they were captured.
Maybe you don't get really smart until AFTER you have stayed at the Holiday Inn Express.


More obvious scientific research for you


Red may be the color of love for a reason: It makes men feel more amorous towards women, a new study reports.
From ancient rituals to those red paper lace hearts on Valentines, red has been tied to carnal passions and romance in many cultures over the course of history.
Other research suggests that the effect of color depends on the context. In a previous study, Elliot and his colleagues showed that seeing red in competitive situations, such as sporting events, leads to worse performance. Another recent study suggests that referees favor red-clad competitors because of a subconscious bias for the color.
So the reason you love that red sweater on your spouse is simple, you are hard wired to like it.
I'm thinking the follow-up study for this is to get the low-down on "WHY WOMEN WEAR RED?" Yeah, now I have you thinking. So women wear red to elicit a specific reaction in men. And from this wearing of red men have developed behaviorial attraction to the color.
Yeah, which came first the chicken or the egg or metaphorically, which came first women wearing red sweaters or men buying red sweaters for their wives?

Too many images to pick from!

What were these folks thinking about when they decided to have The Red Sweater Party!
Didn't they know they were playing with dynamite?

Feds disrupt skinhead plot to assassinate Obama


WASHINGTON – Two white supremacists allegedly plotted to go on a national killing spree, shooting and decapitating black people and ultimately targeting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, federal authorities said Monday.
Just guess where the picture of the skinhead came from....just guess....yep MySpace!!!111
I'm not going to dissect why you wouldn't be using the HK91 with a huge scope in the assault these idiots had planned. But for the uninitiated it's a mighty scary photo, isn't it...and gosh we should probably ban all black colored scary guns with scopes.
The good and bad news of this is simply, these asshats will be put in prison, where they can get some more indoctrination from the Skinheads who live there.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Wounded vets conquer Marine Corps Marathon


Before Cpl. Dan Lasko lost his left leg from the knee down as a result of a 2004 bomb blast in Afghanistan, he didn’t consider himself a runner. He didn’t spent much time distance running, and preferred team sports to the open road.
Sunday, Lasko completed the Marine Corps Marathon on his prosthetic leg, finishing in 5 hours, 30 minutes, 43 seconds. He can add it to a post-blast resume that includes several triathlons, the Army Ten-Miler and the Bataan Memorial Death March, a marathon-length march through White Sands Missile Range, N.M.
BFD you might say. Well see it this way, he ran the marathon with a prosthetic leg. What does that feel like you might ask? Ever worn a pair of shoes that didn't quite fit? Well walk down the street at a fast pace for 5 and a half hours and you'll be close.

In the picture: Spc. Harvey Naranjo carries a back-up prosthetic leg for Marine Cpl. Dan Lasko as the pair pushed it out to cross the finish line of the Army Ten-Miler with a time of 2:18.

You sir, are a badass. My sateen cover is off to you.
Clinging to your guns and religion in these uncertain times

Americans have cut back on buying cars, furniture and clothes in a tough economy, but there's one consumer item that's still enjoying healthy sales: guns. Purchases of firearms and ammunition have risen 8 to 10 percent this year, according to state and federal data.
What are the items you need most when the economy fails past the point where everything is coming to an end.
Gold? No.
Food? No.
Firearms and ammunition. Because if you have enough of these you can have all the food and gold you can muscle away from your liberal "we need more gun control" neighbors.

I'm set for firearms. The only additional need I have is a squad automatic weapon. A grenade launcher would be nice but the training curve is too steep. If we had to retreat to our friend's place, an 81mm mortar would be money well spent.

The fire team needs a bit of training as well. I'm pretty sure I could hold my own, but if I go down I don't think the family would continue to carry the fight to the enemy.

We can fix that with a bit of fire discipline and hand to hand training I believe.

Insert your favorite girls with guns pic here. I'd do it for you, but I don't know if you like brunettes or blondes.

Busted! Kan. Politician Caught with Opponent's Campaign Signs


A Johnson County politician's campaign may have just taken a turn for the worse after he was caught red-handed with his opponent's campaign signs. Calvin Hayden, who's running for Johnson County Commission against incumbent John Toplikar, saw his campaign signs disappearing. That's when one of Hayden's campaign workers grabbed a video camera, hoping to catch the crook in the act. And when they did, they were shocked to discover the thief was Hayden's opponent, John Toplikar.
Pwned. Wow that's some set of balls. That's him there in the red shirt and white cap. He had a van full of his opponent's signs.

Video here

Betcha didn't know this one


A BRITISH newspaper has pointed out that the success of AC/DC albums has coincided with the darkest of economic times in the UK.
Well how about that? I remember Back in Black best.
As the Guardian points out, Back in Black topped the UK charts in 1980, "just as inflation had reached 20% and unemployment inched towards 2 million."

The Highway to Hell

1973 - AC/DC form
Economy: Start of the oil crisis, which saw the price quadruple
Oil crisis in America too.

1980 - AC/DC release breakthrough album Back In Black
Economy: Inflation in UK reaches 20% and unemployment nears 2 million
Again with the oil industry collapse. Banks fell from bad loans to wildcatters.

1990 - AC/DC score comeback with The Razor's Edge
Economy: Recession in UK imminent
Housing foreclosures hit an all time high. My wife and I bought our first house as the market crashed, from none other than Freddie Mac.

2008: AC/DC top UK album charts
Economy: Biggest world recession in decades looms
We don't have to tell you what's happening today. You can fill this one in yourself.

Want A Drink? You Better Think, Voters


HOLLAND, Mich. -- Some Michigan voters might want a drink after trying to decipher ballot language about lifting a beer and wine sales ban on Sundays.
The proposal reads, "shall the sale of beer and wine ... between the hours of 2 a.m. and midnight on Sunday be prohibited?" People who want to continue the ban would vote yes. People who want to change the law and allow sales must vote no.
From Fark.com:
Yes or no: Should not the disallowance of use of misdirecting language not be used to confuse Michigan voters on whether or not to disallow the ban on alcohol sales on Sunday?
Exactly.