Day of deliverance for Iraqi translator, now in San Jose

In his native Iraq, Haitham Jasim risked his life alongside U.S. Marines who hired him as a translator during deadly counterinsurgency missions. Fellow Iraqis put a $20,000 bounty on his head.

On Thursday, just in time for Independence Day, he arrived in America with his wife and two young children to begin a new life. A Silicon Valley Marine answered Jasim's desperate request by raising thousands of dollars and giving the friend whom his unit knew as "Falcon" a haven in San Jose.

This is a great story. Can you imagine the blessings they feel have been poured out for them. Welcome to America Jasim family, you're gonna love it here.

Daily Dumbass - 4th of July Edition

Hooray for idiots and explosives.

Bad Ending To Fourth of July - Watch more free videos

More goodies and idiocracy :) Enjoy!

Idiot. - Watch more free videos

Wearing Sunscreen = Cancer...say what!?

Does your sunscreen work? An investigation of nearly 1,000 brand-name sunscreen products finds that 4 out of 5 contain chemicals that may pose health hazards or don't adequately protect skin from the sun's damaging rays. Some of the worst offenders are leading brands like Coppertone, Banana Boat, and Neutrogena.

More than a million cases of skin cancer are diagnosed in the U.S. every year, but FDA still hasn't finalized sunscreen standards first announced 30 years ago. Meanwhile, companies are free to claim but not provide broad spectrum protection. Until FDA requires that all sunscreens be safe and effective, Environmental Working Group's comprehensive sunscreen guide—including a list of 143 products that offer very good sun protection—fills in the gaps.

Okay so, it's still important to wear sunscreen. Just make sure to check the ingredients in the sunscreen. What pisses me off is that in Europe they have some of the best sunscreen, it's not harmful for you in anyway shape or form, but it's not FDA approved...lame. So before you go out in the sun, check the list of safe sunscreens. Have a safe Holiday weekend.
Here is a list of safe sunscreens:


Recommended Common Brands
1. Blue Lizard anything without oxybenzone
2. California Baby anything with SPF 30+
3. CVS with zinc oxide
4. Jason Natural Cosmetics Sunbrellas Mineral Based Sunblock
5. Kiss My Face "Paraben Free" series
6. Neutrogena Sensitive Skin Sunblock
7. Olay Defense Daily UV Moisturizer (with zinc)
8. SkinCeuticals Physical UV Defense
9. Solar Sense Clear Zinc for Face
10. Walgreens Zinc Oxide for Face, Nose, & Ears

To see more top brands please visit this site by clicking here!

God Bless America

Enjoy your Independence Day America. You've earned it.

Salacious details launch Brinkley divorce trial

CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. - A $300,000 payoff to a teenage mistress. Thousands of dollars worth of online porn. Extramarital trysts in the office and his supermodel wife's Hamptons homes.
Let me guess, he's a sex addict?
Let's see, you've got Christy-freakin' Brinkley at home, you hire a smokin' hot 18 year old mistress for work, AND you spend a few thousand a month for ONLINE PORN.
Dude, YOUR DOING IT WRONG!!!111

Engineer Gets 110 MPG Out Of '87 Mustang

Doug Pelmear said he isn't toying with the engine of 1987 Ford Mustang for the money.
The engineer's tinkering, however, could earn him $10 million and save him plenty more in gas money.
Pelmear, who lives in Napoleon, Ohio, has tweaked his Mustang to get 110 mpg, making the engine nearly five times as efficient as a traditional gas engine, he told the Toledo Blade newspaper.
As the poster on Fark.com said, he will probably die mysteriously of 3 self inflicted gunshots to the head next week.

10 things you can like about rising fuel costs?

1. Globalized Jobs Return Home - Yeah on the surface you might think the cost of shipping would bring low-paying manufacturing jobs back to America, but I don't think so.
2. Sprawl Stalls - Living in a state that is ALL SPRAWL it won't stall. People may shift to living nearer to shopping but our fair city of Norman puts a lot of effort to keep houses with houses and shops with shops. The "neighborhood grocery" is almost completely gone.
3. Four-Day Workweeks - This will be pretty sweet. But again there's always someone there to screw it up for someone else. My work will not move to 4 days, because the one day we don't make the state's deposit, and the state looses 187,000$(US). Nevermind the savings of not running the air conditioners and lights and computers for 900 staff. And their happiness to be home an extra day.
4. Less Pollution - In a sprawl state I don't think this will change much, people still have to drive due to lack of public transportation.
5. More Frugality - I'd have to say I have tried to limit the number of times I am sent to the store for a single item.
6. Fewer Traffic Deaths - No doubt here. Maybe with less cars there will be less wrecks.
7. Cheaper Insurance - We shall see, we shall see.
8. Less Traffic - Again sprawl states will not enjoy this as much.
9. More Cops on the Beat - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, not in Oklahoma.
10. Less Obesity - Ummm, not likely. People don't like to walk 8 miles to Wal-Mart, they'd rather drive.
This article was obviously written by someone who lives in a big city.

Dammit!!!

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- Florida lottery officials said on Wednesday they will add the national Powerball game to its portfolio in January.
Now I'm gonna have to possibly share my winnings with a Floridiot?

Wear sunscreen this weekend

Washington (ChattahBox) - The Environmental Working Group, a consumer advocacy group, released a new report, giving information in regards to the safest and most protective sunscreen products on the market.
Ouch, that sunburn is gonna peal.

Hot for teacher, Omaha Nebraska style

OMAHA, Neb. - A former teacher pleaded guilty Wednesday to fleeing to Mexico with a 13-year-old student so she could have sex with him. Her plea was part of a deal to ensure she'll spend less than a decade in federal prison.
Kelsey Peterson, 26, cried in court and shook her head when the prosecutor said she started having sex with the boy when he was 12 years old and a student at Lexington Middle School, where she taught.
No thanks.

This healthy dose of eye bleach should help with the burning from the pic above.

Daily Dumbass

Oldest trick in the book...you sir are a Daily Dumbass!


Pool Nut Shot Prank Victim - Watch more free videos

Colombia says rescues Betancourt and Americans

BOGOTA (Reuters) - French-Colombian politician Ingrid Betancourt and three Americans were rescued from leftist guerrillas by Colombian troops, Defense Minister Juan Manuel Santos said on Wednesday.
The Americans, three Defense Department contract workers, were captured in 2003 after their light aircraft crashed in the jungles while on a counternarcotics operation.
More confirmation that the FARC are loosing their grip in the region.

Canada Ready to Deport U.S. Deserters

Since deserting his unit in Iraq and fleeing to Canada two years ago, Corey Glass has become the poster boy of the war resisters movement. Thursday in Toronto, supporters are planning to protest his scheduled deportation back to the United States.
"He is not considered absent without leave. He is not considered a deserter," said Maj. Nathan Banks, an Army spokesman. "He is running for no reason. He is fully welcome in the United States. I cannot believe this is a big deal in Canada."
You sir are a coward and a liar. You made a contract with our government and you failed to keep it.

Muslims outraged at police advert featuring cute puppy sitting in policeman's hat

A postcard featuring a cute puppy sitting in a policeman's hat advertising a Scottish police force's new telephone number has sparked outrage from Muslims.
The advert has upset Muslims because dogs are considered ritually unclean and has sparked such anger that some shopkeepers in Dundee have refused to display the advert.
I think we are getting just a bit to sensitive to what offends who. Political correctness has been on a bender for quite a while and it's time to stop.
Up to this year I didn't know Muslims believed dogs were unclean.





Then again maybe it wasn't offensive at all.

Firewood in short supply as Mainers stock up

BRUNSWICK, Maine — Mainers who buy firewood are paying more as they stock up this summer and many are finding short supplies, as well.
I've got 10 ricks just sitting on the ground at my mom's house. The ice storm of December 2007 is going to keep up stocked up for a while.

Mmmmmm Maine, mmmmmm Maple Syrup on ice cream. I can feel the sugar buzz right now.

Happy Canada Day, a video tribute

I love these kinds of stories

BEULAH, N.D. - Oscar Stohler was raised in a sod house in western North Dakota and ranched there for nearly seven decades. He never gave much thought to what lay below the grass that fattened his cattle.
Raised in a SOD HOUSE. Now he's a millionaire and so will his kids and his grand-kids.

Bush 3: Obama to expand Bush's faith based programs

ZANESVILLE, Ohio - Reaching out to religious voters, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama called for expanding President Bush's program steering federal social service dollars to religious groups and — in a move sure to cause controversy — supported some ability to hire and fire based on faith.
Wait what?
Anyway, saying it and doing it are two different things.
I'm not questioning the man's religion, I'm questioning the motives.

Lawsuit filed over Atlanta airport barring guns

ATLANTA - The nation's busiest airport dueled with gun rights advocates Tuesday over whether a new Georgia state law allows visitors to carry firearms at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.
City officials in charge of the airport declared it a "gun-free zone" when a law allowing people to carry guns on public transit and other places took effect Tuesday. Gun rights supporters, including a state legislator who helped pass the law, quickly filed a lawsuit in federal court challenging the designation.
I think he maybe missing the point of the law. But I tell ya what if we had guns on the planes in September 2001, there wouldn't have been any airplanes flying into buildings.

Eating All 12 McDonald’s Meals in One Sitting? Fail.

In February, So Good wrote about a young man named Ryan Giesel, who started a Facebook group called “If 100,000 people join, I’ll eat every McDonalds value meal, #1-12.” At the time, barely anyone had taken notice. The group, created in December of 2007, was languishing, with only a few thousand members. That’s when So Good decided that someone needed to take this kid up on his offer, because this is something America needed to see attempted.
Bwahahahaha. Intense vomiting....bwahahahahaha!

Britain bakes in hottest day of the year

Given last year's soggy excuse for summer, you could be forgiven for thinking a summer holiday abroad might be a better bet this year.
But on Tuesday Britain sizzled in temperatures higher than many parts of Africa, California and the Mediterranean on the hottest day of the year so far.
82F? Ummm, wow. I guess 110F in the shade is sorta out of the question then.
Thank God for America Canada England.

Bad news for South Carolina, Miss America will not be from your state this year

Today Spartanburg will once again be filled with more than 90 smiling pageant contestants from across the state.
The 51 Miss S.C. and 41 Miss S.C. Teen hopefuls will begin competition at 2 p.m. at the Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium.
Is this the state with the most gals with dispurportionate faces?
Check out the gallery. Tell me if I'm wrong.
The comments in Fark.com's forum are hillarious.

Daily Dumbass

You Fail @ Flame Shot!

How Not To Do A Flaming Shot - Watch more free videos

Accidental fungus leads to promising cancer drug

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A drug developed using nanotechnology and a fungus that contaminated a lab experiment may be broadly effective against a range of cancers, U.S. researchers reported on Sunday.
The drug, called lodamin, was improved in one of the last experiments overseen by Dr. Judah Folkman, a cancer researcher who died in January. Folkman pioneered the idea of angiogenesis therapy -- starving tumors by preventing them from growing blood supplies.
Nanotechnology and fungi? Next thing you know they'll be using LASERs to do surgery!!! Bwahahahaha, What will be next leeches and bleedings?
Oh...they do that, and that, and that? Ummm nevermind.

Yep, Spain won the UEFA cup

It’s really happened. Spain are Euro 2008 champions with a well earned 1-0 win over Germany.
44 years since their last win. The Germermans were just outplayed.

Let the finger pointing begin

Stocks advance as oil pulls off fresh high

NEW YORK - Stocks rose Monday, the final session of an arduous first half, as the price of oil pulled off its high and relieved some inflation worries.
Light, sweet crude moved above $143 per barrel for the first time early Monday before pulling back sharply to $140.30, up 9 cents, on the New York Mercantile Exchange.
Everyone is pointing fingers. Someone is lying.

In other news...
Majors say speculators not to blame for oil price

MADRID (Reuters) - The heads of some of the world's biggest oil companies countered on Monday OPEC claims that speculators were driving high oil prices, blaming instead a dearth of new supplies.
The chief executives of Royal Dutch Shell Plc (RDSa.L), BP Plc (BP.L) and Spain's Repsol YPF (REP.MC) told the oil industry's biggest gathering in three years that restrictions on where they can invest and high taxes meant they could not help boost supplies as much as they might.
So according to them it's China's and India's fault?
They are the ones buying up the oil.

And as I predicted, the DDDN News Staff are about ready for their vacation and gas prices are the highest ever, just like I predicted.

Oil prices surged past $143 a barrel for the first time ever Monday, and the price for a gallon of gas hit an all-time high in the United States.
Driving to Kalifornia to visit friends.
If you need a company to tank or a team to loose, just let me know the stock ticker or who they are and I'll buy that stock or bet on that team and I promise I will not disappoint you.

Drugs are bad, part duex, or more, I forget

Floyd Landis lost his final chance to retain his 2006 Tour de France title Monday, the last step of a long, multimillion-dollar process that poked holes in the anti-doping establishment but ultimately left the cyclist as just another convicted cheater.
The ruling upholds Landis' two-year ban from cycling, which is due to end Jan. 29, 2009, though at this point, the ban wasn't the real issue.
It's not the all drugs Olympics dude. Gotta play fair.

Another life for sale, er uh, a house with a person attached

PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - She's tried night clubs and online dating sites, but now a 42-year-old single mother is looking for love where everyone else's heart is breaking — the real estate market.
She's hoping for a European to buy...whatever it is she is selling.
Also check it out at Craigs List.

That dude in Australia finally sold his life for $383,230(US).

Daily Dumbass

Hot chick good..you FAIL!


Escalator Spin Fail - Watch more free videos