Friday, June 27, 2008

America just got more dangerous


Let us consider for a minute the biggest threats to America.
According to the Steven Colbert Report they are:
* 5. Canada!
* 4. Food!
* 3. Toys!
* 2. Robots!
* 1. Bears!

This is supported by many the websites you can purchase posters and clothing warning the populous of the Bear Threat.

It is a fact that bears in all forms are very dangerous, well maybe not Koala bears, but all the rest are killers. I wouldn't want to be bitten by a Koala either but they are not high on the attack list in Austrailia.



List of fatal bear attacks in North America by decade

Most bears are law abiding members of the ecosystem and confine their attacks in the form of close quarters battle. A bear picks their victim and closes on them and then engages in claw-to-hand combat.
Well yesterday the Supreme Court of America decided that bears should be EVEN more dangerous. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled Thursday that a sweeping ban on handguns in the nation's capital violated the Second Amendment right to arm bears. Now bears everywhere will be able to purchase firearms and engage their victims at 50, 100, even 600 yards with the proper firearm and accessories.

The Decision.

I didn't read the whole thing very closely but basically it gives the people of the District of Columbia the right to arm bears. Which will have an adverse affect on the many other hundreds of laws prohibiting the arming of bears in other cities.
I've been to Washington DC many dozens of times and I have never actually seen any bears there, but apparently the Court sees fit to arm those bears that do live there.

These two gentlemen are standing on the steps of the Supreme Court holding flags they hope to market to the newly armed bear population.


Doomed in short we all are.

In other news my dyslexia has gotten much better since I began blogging again. Praise the Lord for that, unless your a Jedi, then just thank the Force for me.

Scholars make finds in Nazi archive


BAD AROLSEN, Germany - From prison brothels to slave labor camps, 15 scholars concluded a two-week probe Thursday of an untapped repository of millions of Nazi records, and hailed it as a rich vein of raw material that will deepen the study of the Holocaust.
Good thing the Nazi Germans were excellent record keepers. Perhaps even the worlds from most pack rats.

Follow-up: N.Y. millionaire gets prison for enslaving workers


CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. - A millionaire who inflicted years of abuse on two Indonesian housekeepers held as virtual slaves in her Long Island mansion was sentenced Thursday to 11 years in prison.
Varsha Sabhnani, 46, was convicted with her husband in December on a 12-count federal indictment that included forced labor, conspiracy, involuntary servitude and harboring aliens.
The victims testified that they were beaten with brooms and umbrellas, slashed with knives, and forced to climb stairs and take freezing showers as punishment. One victim was forced to eat dozens of chili peppers against her will, and then was forced to eat her own vomit when she couldn't keep the peppers down, prosecutors said.
Thank you Ms. Sabnani of trying to incorporate your own home countries values into the huge melting pot of American values. BUT WE DON'T NEED THEM. I hope you enjoy your prison sentence. And I hope a really sleazy lawyer cleans out your accounts with civil lawsuits for the people you treated that way.

North Korea destroys nuclear reactor tower


YONGBYON, North Korea - North Korea destroyed the most visible symbol of its nuclear weapons program Friday, blasting apart the cooling tower at its main atomic reactor in a sign of its commitment to stop making plutonium for atomic bombs.
The demolition of the 60-foot-tall cooling tower at the North's main reactor complex is a response to U.S. concessions after the North delivered a declaration Thursday of its nuclear programs to be dismantled.
It wasn't doing anything anyway so why not blow it up.
The good news for you and for North Korea is they can start becoming a member of the community of nations and start finding ways to feed their people.

Ball girl makes incredible catch


Ball Girl Makes Incredible Catch - Watch more free videos
Work hard boys...she's ready for the majors while your playin' in Tacoma.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Daily Dumbass

Hot Chick in Bikini + Linoleum Floor + Oil = ???? :)
Enjoy!


Hot Chick In Bikini Faceplants - Watch more free videos

Former tough-guy actor sets sights on US Senate


LOUISVILLE, Ky. - Sonny Landham carved out a tough-guy reputation in a series of big-screen roles, from roughing up Sylvester Stallone to getting tossed out a window by Carl Weathers. He pulls no punches in his newest role: Libertarian challenger to a man known for political toughness, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.


Prepare to be pwned.

Good luck Billy....er Sonny.

Libertarian? Interesting.

Jeff Vader

You just can't trust people these days, how sad


Myrtle Beach police are searching for a man who borrowed a vehicle to buy crack cocaine then stole the car, according to a police report.
A woman told police she met the suspect in the parking lot of the Admiral Inn last week. After a 20-minute conversation, the victim allowed the suspect to take her 2008 Kia Spectra to buy crack cocaine, the report states.
I blame the school system.

WTF??? Obama asks contributors to help Clinton with debt


(CNN) -- Sen. Barack Obama has asked top contributors to help his former rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, Sen. Hillary Clinton, retire her debt, an Obama campaign source said Tuesday.
This shall be your undoing....
/end Kurgan voice

I bet she works out

Mommy cut cabel cause all her monny goes to gas


SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Sadie and Pyper Vance have had just about enough of high gas prices. The sisters are still years away from being old enough to drive, but that doesn't mean the $4 per gallon price tag isn't hitting them as hard as anyone else.
Cable TV was one of the family's budget-cutting casualties, leaving Sadie, 9, and her 7-year-old sister without their favorite cartoons and shows.
Taking their protest to the street, just like grandpa used to!!! Good luck with that girls. Sadly none of mommy's time is going to spelling lessons.

This is the picture they ran with the story. But that image is an excellent reminder of what happens when you shoot at people who also carry guns.

Teen faces 38 years for hacking


According to Orange County Superior Court documents, Omar Khan, 18, faces 69 felony counts of second degree burglary, identity theft, computer access and fraud, removing and secreting a public record, and altering and falsifying a public record.
Okay this is just sad.
Let's look at this a little closer. First a "hacker" is usually very careful about their identity online. Second a "hacker" is very careful "not to talk about fight club" if you get my drift. And making yourself out as an A and B student when you were a C,D,F student is well JUST BRILLIANT! At this point we can extrapolate that Khan is not a rocket surgeon to be.
Good luck with the defense counselor, kids will be kids? Please. How about something more 21st century like, "he's addicted to hacking, cause he's ADHD, OCD, BFD, XYZ, and his parents gave him ridlin as a child."

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Daily Dumbass

Sorry, got really busy yesterday. So you get a bonus footage. I believe our good friend Eric is in one of them.

Enjoy

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

FOR RENT:

Former Taliban stronghold with beautiful purple flower garden. Won't last long.

As they correctly point out in the comments, we don't have a 2500 pound JDAM.

Comparing Labor Market Data in 1996 and 2008


“The bottom line is that this administration is the owner of the worst jobs record since Herbert Hoover." (Senator Charles Schumer, Press Release, March 7, 2008)
I guess it depends on what you think is "bad". Another great example of don't believe everything you hear, especially if its a congressman saying it.
That pic is just for you Josh.

From the "We want to believe" Department: UK Police Helicopter captures 'UFO' on film


Raw video:June 08/08:Recently released footage:Welsh police confirmed that one of their helicopter crews had spotted an "unusual aircraft" flying over Cardiff earlier this month.



I'm going to call BS on this one. The infrared image looks pretty good but when you go to the visual tape, you can clearly see the tower under the lamp. If you watch this enough times you can see the background moves in relation to a fixed point which is the lamp.
Sadly this is NOT an UFO. But who's to say a UFO wasn't watching them while they shot this footage??? Yeah...

Survey: More have dropped dogma for spirituality in U.S.


Religion today in the USA is a salad bar where people heap on upbeat beliefs they like and often leave the veggies — like strict doctrines — behind.
But does ala carte religion satisfy them or like Chinese buffet they are still hungry just a few hours later?

Update: Group denies misleading media over Amazon tribe


RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - A group that campaigns for tribal peoples' rights denied on Tuesday that it and the Brazilian government had misled the media over photographs of an uncontacted Indian tribe in the Amazon last month.
Okay, now I don't care if they are undiscovered or not.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Don't bring your light saber to Jedi church

If you don't have Midi-chlorians God doesn't want you.

And if you weren't ate up with Jedi-nerd-dom enough, here is the list of Midi-chlorian counts for the major Star Wars characters.
Notable...
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader = 27,700
Yoda = 17,700
Mace Windu = 12,000
Darth Maul = 12,000

After thirty minutes of Googling I could not find a site that listed the Jedi churches in America

WTF? Sonic in Minnesota has lines?


Just a few drive-thrus down from where the last Southern fast-food import tried its luck with Minnesota taste buds, the state's first Sonic drive-in restaurant has for the past two weeks been pulling thousands of cars a day into lines that are sometimes hours long.
Where do I sign up to be a partner in Minnesota Sonics?

'Lost' Amazon tribe a publicity stunt


THE man behind photos of warriors from an "undiscovered" Amazon tribe that were beamed around the world has admitted it was a publicity stunt aimed at raising awareness of logging.
Indigenous tribes expert, José Carlos Meirelles, said the tribe had been known of since 1910, and had been photographed to prove that they still existed in an area endangered by logging, The Guardian reported.
I'd have to say he fooled everyone. Yahoo News ran the story as did most everyone else.
This pretty much goes to show you though, most everywhere in the world has been 'discovered' and finding peoples that have never had contact is never going to happen again.

Stocks struggle as oil prices advance


Stocks struggle as trouble in Nigeria causes concerns and the Saudis open up the spigots a bit more at the urging of the US yet oil prices went up.
Saudi Arabia says it is the speculators as Congress discusses the causes for oil prices at a Congressional Hearing.
It must be a really hard job being an oil speculator. I mean with good news and bad news on the same day and a pending investigation into of how speculators do business they still manage to make money, buy their kid the GI Joe with Kung Fu grib for their birthday, and sleep comfortably in their goose-down mattresses at night knowing they just made enough money to buy the entire country of Chad. How do they make their decisions on the oil market? Magic eight ball?

Sen. McCain offers $300 million prize for new auto battery


The presumed Republican nominee is proposing a $300 million government prize to whoever can develop an automobile battery that far surpasses existing technology. The bounty would equate to $1 for every man, woman and child in the country, "a small price to pay for helping to break the back of our oil dependency," McCain said in remarks prepared for delivery Monday at Fresno State University in California.
In addition, a so-called Clean Car Challenge would provide U.S. automakers with a $5,000 tax credit for every zero-carbon emissions car they develop and sell.
So I guess Chevron can just step up and claim the prize any time they are ready. They own the battery technology that does this. But you already knew that because we reported on it a few weeks ago.

Three women who could join GOP ticket


The most-mentioned potential running mates — former Republican candidate and Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty — are all men.
One obvious choice is Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. She’s as near to Cheney on policy as she is far from him symbolically. Rice, however, has consistently denied interest.
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin may be nationally unknown, but in her state she is nothing short of a political phenomenon.
Carly Fiorina has an up-by-her-own-bootstraps success story, having worked her way from a start as a young secretary straight through the glass ceiling to become Hewlett-Packard’s chief executive from 1999 to 2005.
Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas, the longest-tenured female Republican senator, joined McCain for a fundraising sprint in the Lone Star state.
All of these women bring something special to the ticket. Personally I believe Governor Palin brings the most to the table.
But the Washington political machine doesn't think like I do and I'd expect them to ask Senator Kay Bailey.

You can read more from the people who want to draft Governor Palin at this blog.

George Carlin, comic legend, dead, heart failure, 71


The dean of counterculture comedians, Carlin constantly pushed the envelop with his jokes, particularly with a routine called "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV."
Well F@#% that sucks.