Friday, June 13, 2008

Top 10 best places to live in the U.S.


Where are best of the best places? Who really deserves to claim elite status among America’s cities? We took five of the leading “best places” lists (those put out by Forbes magazine, Kiplinger.com, Money magazine, Fortune Small Business magazine and Relocate-America.com), merged their rankings and ranked the metros to make our own unscientific analysis of the best places to live in the United States.
I will now debunk why these cities are not the 10 best.
No. 10: Des Moines, Iowa reason: Iowans, a little bit of rain and it's uninhabitable
No. 9: Charlotte, N.C. I can't come up with a good reason for this one, dammit.
No. 8: Austin, Texas Good music scene, IF YOU CAN GET THERE. Traffic is horrible. City is getting overcrowded. University of Texas is here. Enough said.
No. 7: San Antonio, Texas Traffic is horrible also. Full of Texans and people who want to be Texans.
No. 6: Fort Collins, Colo. Large bike riding gay community. Winter.
No. 5: Omaha, Neb. Insurance capital of the world. Therefore it shouldn't surprise you to learn the devil, himself, has a summer home there. It's also in Nebraska.
No. 4: Houston, Texas OVERPOPULATED! Traffic problems. Again...Texans.
No. 3: Colorado Springs, Colo. Winter, first comes to mind. Huge scooter-riding-pretentious-ass community, not as large as Grand Junction's scooter-riding-pretentious-ass community but still pretty big.
No. 2: Boise, Idaho Snow. Redneck, sepretist capital of America.
No. 1: Raleigh, N.C. Nascar, need I say more?

Seriously though. All of these places are nice and have their good points obviously. But they did overlook the cost of housing and the overcrowding in the Texas cities.
I had two very close friends leave Oklahoma for North Carolina 11 years ago and they love it out there.
My Colorado friends know I'm just "joshing" about their fine cities which I have actually not heard a bad thing about.
I didn't see anything in Iowa I'd write home about and Nebraska? well it's Nebraska, what do you expect from a state with a unicameral legislature.

Upper Midwest flooding forces evacuations


CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - Rising water from the Cedar River forced the evacuation of a downtown hospital Friday after residents of more than 3,000 homes fled for higher ground. A railroad bridge collapsed, and 400 city blocks were under water.
Photo: Two men carry groceries through the flood waters. Hehehehe.
A young man seen here is carrying a late night snack for tomorrow.
It's going to be quite a while before Iowa gets back on it's feet. Look for food and fuel prices to climb.

More fearmongering for you


"There is a concern that styrene itself, one of the chemical components which is a possible human carcinogen, may leach into coffee or (any) hot liquid."
"Given that polystyrene is not all that readily recyclable, we've suggested - and many companies have already done this - switching to cardboard."
That's if your office water cooler has one of those five-gallon plastic bottles. Chances are there's a number-7 on the bottom of it and it's made of polycarbonate.
So the whole office coffee routine, with the styrofoam cups that could be bad for you and you are a bad person because those cups are bad for the environment. And the water you use from the office cooler perhaps (read: is going to) could kill you as well, a slow, slow undetermined type death. And it's probably going to be a gruesome death too.....perhaps.

Tim Russert, dead, heart attack, 58


WASHINGTON - Tim Russert, host of NBC's "Meet the Press" and its Washington bureau chief collapsed and died at work Friday after suffering an apparent heart attack. He was 58
I never watched Meet the Press I was usually asleep or at church.

Freakin' pwned


The Celtics rallied from a 24-point deficit and beat the Los Angeles Lakers 97-91 on Thursday night to take a commanding 3-1 lead in this history-rich series and move within one victory of a 17th championship that seemed impossible a year ago.
Just lay down Lakers. LAY DOWN, F@#%ing DOWN. If that's the best you can bring just lay down and let the Celtics finish. It's like watching two brothers play basketball. One brother is 18 years old the other 8 years old. Whenever the 8 year old is getting close to winning, the 18 year old dominates him.

Facebook anyone?


Fark headline...
Old and busted: Quitting your job because the corporate culture sucks and it's a dead-end that's slowly sucking your will to live.
New hotness: Quitting your job because they block Facebook
What would make you quit your job? Lack of insurance or other benefits? A lengthy and expensive commute? Limited advancement opportunities? No Facebook access?
A recent survey by IT services provider Telindus found that a whopping 39 percent of 18-to-24-year-olds would consider leaving their jobs if a Facebook ban was imposed, reports vnunet.com. Another 21 percent said they’d feel “annoyed” by such a ban. I assume Telindus did the survey before the latest dismal jobs report.
It's already blocked at my place of employment. Only one proxy still lets it in.

Google Facebook What's she doing as the first image?

Review: Troubling passages in texts at Va. school


McLEAN, Va. (AP) — Textbooks at a private Islamic school in northern Virginia teach students that it is permissible for Muslims to kill adulterers and converts from Islam, according to a federal investigation released Wednesday.
Other passages in the school's textbooks state that "the Jews conspired against Islam and its people" and that Muslims are permitted to take the lives and property of those deemed "polytheists."
The passages were found in selected textbooks used during the 2007-08 school year by the Islamic Saudi Academy, which teaches 900 students in grades K-12 at two campuses in Alexandria and Fairfax and receives much of its funding from the Saudi government.
They're kinda missing that whole tolerance for others, life, liberty, happiness stuff we have in our constitution.
Religion of peace? Hate crimes anyone?

Everyone panic: ONE shower curtain can CAUSE YOU asthma, eye irritation or even CANCER


An environmental group claims in a new study of vinyl shower curtains that some of them may release into the air toxic chemicals which could cause asthma, eye irritation or even cancer.
Skeptics pointed out what they call a glaring error in the study's methodology. The group tested a total of five shower curtains, of which only one shower curtain — not one brand; one curtain — was subjected to complete testing for chemicals in its composition, as well as those it released into the air — a phenomenon known as "off-gassing."
For those of you who speak Canadian here's another link to the story.
Not one BRAND, not one TYPE, one specific shower curtain. Nice work there Center for Health, Environment and Justice. Justice? seriously.
I've opened several shower curtain packages in my day and I have to admit it's nasty. But cancer? Wow. Nice laboratory work there Dexter.

On a side note...

Perhaps the greatest show evar.

Tattoo you?


Fark.com tagline: Letting your 5-year-old daughter give you a tattoo is wrong on so many levels. What kind of a parent--a skull and crossbones? Cool
TINY Emilie Darrigade is the world's youngest tattoo artist - after inking a design on her dad's arm at the age of just FIVE.
Ummmm. No. No thanks.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

China denies hacking into US computers


BEIJING - China denied accusations by two U.S. lawmakers that it hacked into congressional computers, saying Thursday that as a developing country it wasn't capable of sophisticated cybercrime.
I'm thinking that they are lying. Everything is traceable these days. If the Pentagon said they did it, why would we lie?
Funny thing is...the Brits are getting attacked too.
And even in our little world at work at the State of Oklahoma, they've been knocking on the doors.

Scouts praised for response after tornado hits Iowa camp


BLENCOE, Iowa - Boy Scouts who came to the aid of their colleagues after a tornado that killed four of their comrades and injured 48 people were hailed as heroes Thursday for helping to administer first aid and search for victims buried in their flattened campsite.
Iowa rescue workers cut through downed branches and dug through debris amid rain and lightning Wednesday night to reach the camp where the 93 boys, ages 13 to 18, had huddled for safety through the twister. They and 25 staff members were attending a weeklong leadership training camp.
Horrible tragedy. I recall a similar time when I was with my Webelos at Camp Kickapoo. We were in that clearing there next to the diagonal road called Sleepy Hollow. We could see the storm approaching from the southwest. It was just myself and another concerned parent up watching. It was 3:30am. Did we wake up the parents and kids and try to find cover? We waited it out and it moved off to the north. We didn't have weather radios and the weather band in my Range Rover was really no help.
The lightning was our biggest concern, being up on the hill in the open. There was no place to hide from a tornado no matter what we did.
DDDN's thoughts and prayers are with the families today.

Artist claims record with quarter-mile drawing


MONTERREY, Mexico - He forgot to eat, sleep or even drink water. But Mexican artist Filemon Trevino accomplished his lifelong dream of entering the Guinness Book of World Records.
The Monterrey artist said he spent 6,000 hours and used 800 pencils to complete his representation of the heart and circulatory system, with symbols including doves, geometric shapes and hundreds of yards of intertwined tubes.
"I forgot to drink water," he said. "I didn't know anything about friends, my family or anything else in the world. I started to grow a beard and lost (35 pounds) 16 kilograms."
So who paid for him to do this? Who paid his bills?

How did I miss this story?

Sportscaster Jim McKay dies at 86

Jim McKay, the veteran and eloquent sportscaster thrust into the role of telling Americans about the tragedy at the 1972 Munich Olympics, has died. He was 86.
The Wide Wide World of Sports...good times, good times.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

61% Say Obama, McCain Wives Influence Vote


Three out of five American voters (61%) say their perception of a presidential candidate's wife is at least somewhat important to how they vote.
Somewhat? Somewhat important? Is that even newsworthy?
You damn right its important or what ever the equivical answer was on the poll, is how I would have answered...that's why I'm voting for the guy with the hottest, richest wife. Yeah. Hey, if we are gonna our votes on arbitrary concepts like "Change we can believe in", and what a "great speaker" someone is, I'm gonna base my vote on something important like which one of the candidate wives whose business employs the most people and produces a product that makes people feel good.
These two quotes say it all for me.
"For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country." -- Michelle Obama
"I am proud of my country. I don't know about you, if you heard those words earlier -- I am very proud of my country." -- Cindy McCain
Trust me and vote for the spouse of the one you most agree with...

Paper: Nev. gov. sent 860 texts to woman in month


CARSON CITY, Nev. - Gov. Jim Gibbons, who is estranged from his wife, used his state cell phone to send more than 860 text messages in one month last year with a woman he says is a longtime friend, a newspaper reported.
Only 860? That ain't shit! My daughter sent 10,000+ to her boyfriend in a 3 week span before we took her phone away from her because her grades were dropping.
Who is the woman you are leaving your dish of a wife for? Jackass.

Paul Newman: `doing nicely'; mum on cancer reports


NEW YORK - Paul Newman, responding to unconfirmed reports that he is ill with lung cancer, has issued a statement that he is "doing nicely."
The picture above explains why he couldn't direct his last movie...he's working at McDonalds and they probably wouldn't let him off. I kid, I kid.
Even when he dies he will still be cooler than all my readers combined.

Bush says he regrets tough guy talk on war


LONDON (Reuters) - President George W Bush admitted on Wednesday that his tough rhetoric had given the world the impression was a "guy really anxious for war" and said he now wished he had used a different tone on the global stage.
Yeah, but I think the message was still the same. "You f@#% with us, we'll kill ya."
Speak softly and carry a big stick....yeah, that might have worked too.

Prince Charles pays off royal debt ... 350 years late


LONDON, June 10, 2008 (AFP) - Heir to the throne Prince Charles on Tuesday paid off a family debt incurred more than 350 years ago.
Charles handed over 453 pounds and 15 pence (572 euros and 20 euro cents, 885 dollars and four cents) which King Charles II failed to pay to the Clothiers Company in Worcester, central England, in 1651.
If you are trying to clean up your family's image of being a bunch of deadbeats...this is a good start.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Bears release RB Cedric Benson after 2nd arrest


The Bears waived Benson on Monday after his second alcohol-related arrest in a month, ending a rocky three-season tenure in which he failed to live up to expectations after starring at Texas.
"Cedric displayed a pattern of behavior we will not tolerate," general manager Jerry Angelo said in a statement. "As I said this past weekend, you have to protect your job. Everyone in this organization is held accountable for their actions."
So where does Cedric think all that beer money comes from? It's not the Boosters that gave it to him while at Texas...you get it from your job, which is well when you were healthy, being a running back. Good luck.
Da Bears drafted Tulane's Matt Forte. Tulane?....isn't that a smart kid's school? And he was a finance major?....Hmmmmm maybe there's a pattern forming here.
On a side note I got to meet the Oklahoma Sooner's Jermaine Gresham this past weekend. He was a very well mannered young man. He will be a Pre-season All-American this year.

No Tomatoes for Jooooo!


CHICAGO - Federal officials hunted for the source of a 17-state salmonella outbreak linked to three types of raw tomatoes, while the list of supermarkets and restaurants yanking those varieties from shelves and menus grew.
McDonald's, Wal-Mart, Burger King, Kroger, Outback Steakhouse, Winn-Dixie and Taco Bell were among the companies that voluntarily withdrew red plum, red Roma or round red tomatoes unless they were grown in certain states and countries.
I blame the quality of workers for this and other food mishaps.
The wife and I ate out just this evening. On the door "We don't serve any tomatoes that are not cooked, due to the recent salmonella outbreaks". And once we were seated a produce vendor came in to sell tomatoes with the hook, "we know exactly where and who picked all the produce we sell."
And I guess other people do to.

Baptists reluctantly embrace "liberal" McCain


INDIANAPOLIS (Reuters) - Some Southern Baptists feel they have no choice but to vote for a "liberal" in the November U.S. presidential election: presumptive Republican nominee John McCain.
"It's basically a choice between a liberal and an ultra-liberal," Jodie Sanders, a Southern Baptist church-goer from Fairfield, Texas, said about the choice between McCain and his Democratic rival Barack Obama.
"Religion is a fine thing, when taken in moderation." - Coleman, played by Denholm Elliott, Trading Places 1983.

Oil kingpin Saudi calls for talks with consumer countries


The Saudi call was swiftly welcomed by the United States, which has expressed mounting concern about the impact of high energy costs on the world economy, and by Britain.
At a meeting chaired by King Abdullah, the Saudi cabinet restated its view that the leap in prices that saw New York's benchmark contract hit a record 138.54 dollars on Friday was unjustified by fundamentals.
He's not the first guy to say that. I heard and analyst on NPR say oil right now should be in the 80$/barrel range.
You may be wondering where that pic is from, I mean who takes cash for gas anymore? It's in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia where stealing gas gets your hands cut off if you are caught.

W.T.F. Over?


KABUL, Afghanistan - Pakistani intelligence agents and paramilitary forces have helped train Taliban insurgents and have given them information about American troop movements in Afghanistan, said a report published Monday by a U.S. think tank.
The study by the RAND Corp. also warned that the U.S. will face "crippling, long-term consequences" in Afghanistan if Taliban sanctuaries in Pakistan are not eliminated.
They deserve the hell they would live in if they help the Taliban. Hope you enjoy facism...don't come to us crying in a few years.
Think of the kids.

600


MIAMI - Ken Griffey Jr. hit his 600th home run on Monday night, completing his long ascent and becoming the sixth player in history to reach that milestone. The Cincinnati outfielder homered off Florida lefty Mark Hendrickson in the first inning of the Reds' 9-4 victory against the Marlins.
If not for a couple of injury plagued years he'd be sitting at the top of the home run list. Notably the 1995 season in Seattle. The 2001, 2002, 2003 seasons in Cincinatti. If he had hit 40 in each of those years he'd be around 692 right now. But instead, he didn't use steroids to heal while he continued to play.
Ken you da man.

Monday, June 9, 2008

U.S. presence is Iraq's main problem: Iranian leader


TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran's supreme leader told visiting Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki on Monday that the presence of U.S. forces in Iraq was the biggest obstacle to its development as a united country.
Really? Seriously? How about Iran butt out of Iraq and stop funding and arming the insurgency. The biggest obstacle to IRAN in Iraq is the US Military, that's for sure.
Internet cliche for you.

Heat brings power failures in Brooklyn, subways - & it could hit 100 today


Just two days into a record-breaking heat wave, power cuts knocked out subway service and shut down air conditioners in Brooklyn Sunday, even though Con Ed promised it was ready for summer.
Nice work asshats. Hey, it's call the "Weather Channel" they do a pretty good job predicting the weather that's coming. And bonus some of the weather folks are not too bad on the eyes either. Check it out.


Stephanie Abrams.

I love these stories


The last time Teddy Bacon saw his expensive gold watch it was sinking down into the harbour in Gibraltar.
That was in 1941, and the watch had slipped off his wrist when Lieutenant Bacon threw a line to shore from his ship, HMS Repulse.
Because the deputy harbourmaster in 1941 had made a log with a description of the watch and its approximate location, staff knew who it belonged to.

What blows me away is they mailed it to the address he had in 1941 and it made it to his house today, several address changes later. Yeah, that would never happen in America.

Man stabbed in 20-person brawl outside tavern


A manager at the pub said the business was full at the time but she did not hear anything.
That must be a fun bar. A 20-person bar fight and gun shots and the manager didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. 3 shots were fired into the crowd, no one was hit. That's why I generally worry about Canada being invaded.

Here's more on why it's such a rowdy place.
You'd think from some of the web adverts this place is a fun wholesome family place.

Bwahahahahahaha


A year ago, Gadsby convinced himself that the U.S. government, not terrorists, demolished the World Trade Center buildings in New York on Sept. 11, 2001. And that belief has turned him into a fasting activist.
He said he plans to go without food until McCain, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, agrees to meet with him.
"I'm accusing Popular Mechanics as being part of the cover-up," he said.
Bwahahahahahaha, I don't even know what else to say. OMG. I wonder what kind of wacky stuff he says in his religious studies classes.

6 Injured In Wedding Reception Brawl


Authorities say the melee started when six to eight men crashed the party Saturday night at Niles Banquet Hall. When they were asked to leave, a fight broke out, leaving five men stabbed and a sixth beaten.
So let's get this straight, you crash a wedding party AND you brought knives. If you are trying to emulate Wedding Crashers you are doing it wrong.

Va. set to execute triple killer Tuesday


RICHMOND, Va. - A Virginia man who whose execution has been pushed back three times because of questions about his mental capacity is scheduled to die Tuesday unless the governor or courts step in again.
Percy Walton, 29, was sent to death row for robbing and killing three neighbors in Danville in 1996. He is set to die by lethal injection at 9 p.m.
Walton has said that after he is put to death he plans to go to Burger King and maybe ride a motorcycle. But he also has referred to the execution as "the end" and said before his trial that the "chair is for killers."
Trust me when I say Virginia is doing us a favor in ridding society of this guy.

PETA takes aim at Kent State mascot


Fark headline: PETA: to Kent State: "Your golden eagle mascot is unhappy" Kent State to PETA: "I dunno, she seemed to enjoy that last meal of rats, venison and day old chicks"
Why doesn't PETA get some hot chicks to protest this? I'm sure they would get more coverage that way.

No matter what you type into the Google Search engine for Kent State...you will get this picture. Which just goes to show you if you have a Pulitzer prize photo of your school it will erase every image you could ever associate to your school...positive or negative.

Someone left the barbequer on


AUSTIN, Texas - Fire investigators are asking for the public's help in identifying who may be to blame for a blaze that badly damaged the historic Texas Governor's Mansion.
Arson is suspected in the Sunday morning fire that charred the unoccupied 152-year-old building, said state Fire Marshal Paul Maldonado. He wouldn't provide details on how the fire was set or whether there is a suspect.
If someone tries to pin this on a Sooner fan...I'm gonna flip out.
mmmmmm Bevo burgers....

The legend of a mascot that doubles as a meal. aka Revisionist history to hide the gross embarrassment that doubles as "Mack Brown-Texas Football".

Before the fire.
Actually the burning of the longest inhabited governor's mansion west of the Mississippi, is is a dispicable act and I hope the catch the bastard/bastardo that did it.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

UPDATE: What ever happened to "bending the rules" FFS


WOODLAND, CA - After a week filled with controversy, Woodland School District officials met in a special session Friday to look through confidential student records and review the process of allowing 18-year-old Leanna Elizalde, who has battled cancer most of her senior year, to walk with her class during Woodland High School's graduation ceremony Saturday.
"We have reviewed the record and are satisfied that the administration has followed the process that is fair for all students. The school district supports that all families have equal access to the appeals process," said school board president, Carol Souza Cole following the closed door meeting.
Yeah, it only took a few thousand phone calls and some negative press for the Woodland School District to pull their collective heads out of their a$$es. Good work blogosphere.