Friday, October 19, 2007

One day in the future


I'm just waiting for the day my son says to me,
"Dad, I've decided to go to school somewhere in Florida."
And with a tear in my eye, I'll say,
"You're gonna love college my boy...have fun."


Or perhaps...Georgia.

Check out the other fine pictures at Poon of the SEC.

The Middle Class?


Economic data can't fully explain why so many feel financially squeezed.
This is exactly what my wife and I are going through. We make good money but at the end of the month...it's all gone.
Keeping a standard of living that is comfortable is a bitch on the wallet.

Scouts must pay fair market value


The city has decided that the Boy Scouts chapter here must pay fair-market rent of $200,000 a year for its city-owned headquarters because it refuses to permit gay Scouts.
What? The ruling has been there since 2000 and they are just now getting to raising the rent? Who'd they piss off?

Bikini Friday


Today's Weather

Brought to you by today's weather girl, Andrea 93x girl


I'm not sure, a girl with a Jay Leno jaw line is hot...

WTF? Over


NEW YORK (Reuters) - Instead of walking down the aisle of a church, a former New York couple will traipse down the aisle of a court room to settle a fight over a $48,800 diamond engagement ring.
Who spends 48k$ on a freaking engagement ring? If you can drop that kind of coin, you don't need to be quibbling over it. He does have an oral contract for the rings return.

Hot for Teacher, South Carolina style


NORTH CHARLESTON — A teaching assistant at Stall High School has been arrested on charges of having sex with a teenage student, police said.
A new career is in order.

Fundraising T-Shirts Banned At School


SALINA, Kan. -- Two Salina Central High School seniors designed T-shirts to raise money for breast cancer awareness, but an assistant principal banned one of the designs from school.
The shirts bear the phrase "Save 2nd Base" with a pair of baseballs over the wearers' breasts. Officials said the shirts violate the district's dress code, which bans clothing with an "implied indecent meaning."
Good for you girls. Help the girls out and buy a t-shirt. If you can get through...that is.

Couple make burglar clean up at gunpoint


MONTGOMERY, Ala. - A burglar in Montgomery chose the wrong family to mess with, literally. Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon returned home on Tuesday after a week away to find that thieves had emptied almost everything the family of five owned, Tiffany McKinnon said through tears.
We made this man clean up all the mess he made, piles of stuff, he had thrown out of my drawers and cabinets onto the floor," Tiffany McKinnon said.
"This man had the nerve to raise sand about us making him clean up the mess he made in my house," she said. "The police officer laughed at him when he complained and said anybody else would have shot him dead."
Bwhahahaha, dumbass.

Helicopter crew 'spied on sunbather'


EASTBOURNE The crew of a Ministry of Defence helicopter broke low-flying rules, causing hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage to a Sussex mansion, so that they could spy on an au-pair who was sunbathing, the High Court was told yesterday.
Spied? They were trying to communicate with her, is that really spying?
I'm sure the pilot replied, "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Mr. Swirly face child molester caught


BANGKOK (Reuters) - Canadian pedophile suspect Christopher Neil, focus of a global hunt that ended in rural Thailand on Friday, will be charged with molesting underage children after being tracked down through his boyfriend's phone.
I wonder how bad Thai prisons are? I wonder if there is a chance bad things my befall him? I hope so.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Kiss my ass, No


NEW YORK -- Joe Torre on Thursday rejected an offer for a one-year deal to return as the New York Yankees manager.
He was offered $5 million to return to manage the Yankees.
Take your damn dirty money and pound it up your ass, Steinbrenner.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by today's weather girl, Ashley Day 93x girl

Genius


Police are hunting a cat-napper who has taunted owners with a letter claiming their pets have been "relocated."
In the letter the abductor says their pets have been dumped at least 25 miles away as punishment for "invading" his garden.
So far seven cats have vanished from the same road in Southampton, Hants.
I hate cats. And I hate cats that doody in my flower beds even more.


"Cats provide neither fur nor milk nor meat."

Oh the madness, why does God hate beer tents?


Wednesday night, two tents were blown down at Tulsa's Oktoberfest, sending 21 people to hospitals, Tina Wells, a spokeswoman for the Oklahoma Emergency Medical Services Authority, told The Associated Press.
The Tulsa Oktoberfest is the third largest in the world, behind Munich and Toronto.
Just a normal Wednesday night in T-town. Getting drunk in a tent during a thunderstorm...nothing to see here, move along.

Brownback stands in door, waits for light


Republican Sam Brownback will drop out of the 2008 presidential campaign on Friday, people close to the Kansas senator said Thursday.
Hmmmmm, was it all the cash you're opponents have raised?

Hot for Lab Tech, What?


She was a 22-year-old single mother living in a Singer Island efficiency, working as a lab technician at Scripps Research Institute in Jupiter. He was 14 and living with his parents in northern Palm Beach County, though his profile said he was 18.
Colleen Grear eventually learned the boy's true age, but it didn't stop her from pursuing a sexual relationship. They had encounters in a park, her car, her apartment and a motel room, according to police.
Dude, did she tell you she was a teacher?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Having fun with Coach Gundy

Everyone has seen this tyrade by Oklahoma State Football Coach, Mike Gundy.
There are lots of parodies of it popping up on YouTube. Here's my favorite so far.


I'd love to know what Coach Gundy has to say about this car dealership commercial.
I know he's seen it...they play it 4 times a day on OKC television stations.

There are a few more on YouTube but those were the best.

At least they agree on something


WASHINGTON - The House on Tuesday overwhelmingly approved a four-year extension of a moratorium on state and local taxes on Internet access, despite widespread support in both parties for a permanent ban.
The vote was 405-2.
AMENDMENT(S): ***NONE***
Who voted NO you ask?
Anna Eshoo, California District 14, Democrat

Michael Turner, Ohio District 3, Republican

That's pretty amazing. And no one even tried to tack on any pork.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by today's weather girl, Haley Gaines from 93x


Soooey pig!

Shotgun rack? Hell yeah!


The worst part about shooting home invaders is having to get out of bed to grab the shotgun. Well, that's no longer a problem with the The Back-Up Gun Rack, which provides a convenient and easy-to-install bed-mounted solution! Now you can fill invaders with two barrels of buckshot without even having to sit up!

I got a shotgun rack in my pick-up truck...never thought of having one on my bed!!
"Many customers are buying one for each side of the bed."
God I love America.

Still exercising ... still fat


You don't discuss your diet, but keep in mind that "you will always be able to out-eat your workout," says Endress. "You've got to reduce your calorie intake."
Endress and other fitness and weight-loss experts say people tend to overestimate how many calories they burn through exercise and therefore the extent to which physical activity can help them lose weight.
Get out there and exercise. Stop sucking down the soda...and cut out as much sweets as you can.

Public Service Announcement


National Orgasm Week starts today yet a recent survey found 12 per cent of UK women have never experienced the big O.
I'm on my way to England this weekend...the women of England need me!

Inmate Found 35 Years After Escape


Giles County Sheriff Kyle Helton said he was acquainted with Darby and thought she had been living in Pulaski for at least 30 years.
"As far as I know she never had any criminal history after she came here," he said. "She never got into any trouble. She led a flawless life."
Darby was sentenced to life in prison in 1970 for her husband's murder, but she escaped from the Indiana Women's Prison in March 1972 by climbing over a barbed-wire fence.
Thirty-five years? That's not bad. And stayed out of trouble the whole time.

Gladiator? Really?


WASHINGTON — In his first major interview since his arrest in a sex sting in the Minneapolis airport, Sen. Larry Craig told NBC’s Matt Lauer that he “made a big mistake” when he chose not to consult a lawyer or tell his family that he had pleaded guilty to the crime.
Craig also had harsh words for the treatment from his Senate GOP colleagues — what he referred to as “gladiator politics.”

You want to use the word gladiator? Wow.
Does this guy have no shame at all?

Hero


Marcelle Shriver plays with Silly String on Monday Oct. 15, 2007, in Deptford, NJ, while posing for a photo in front of boxes containing about 80,000 cans of Silly String she's collected and is sending to troops in Iraq where they use the foamy substance to detect trip wires on bombs.
Good job mom!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Coach attempts to distract media from Bear's football record/suckiness


It was unclear Monday what, if any, discipline Baylor University officials will hand down to an assistant football coach cited early Sunday for allegedly urinating on the bar at a watering hole frequented by Baylor students.
Eric Schnupp, Baylor’s offensive line/tight ends coach, was issued a citation at 2:20 a.m. for disorderly conduct-reckless exposure at Scruffy Murphy’s, 1226 Speight Ave., said Waco police spokesman Steve Anderson.
Yeah, like you guys have never urinated on a bar....oh....uh....well if it's good enough for my dad it's good enough for me!
My dad told me a story about a trip he had to Mexico for some drinking back in late 1940s when they lived in South Texas. The bar owner was really proud of a knife collection he had displayed at the bar. I guess my dad wasn't as impressed and pissed all over it. I'm guessing an ass whoopin' ensued and my dad wound up in jail in Mexico.
My dad was the man.

Hot for Teacher, Colorado style


EDWARDS, Colo. -- A theology teacher and girls' soccer and volleyball coach at Vail Christian High School has been arrested on charges of having "an inappropriate sexual relationship" with a female student, according to the Eagle County Sheriff's Office.
The parents of the alleged victim planned to post bond for Allen, according to the Vail Daily News. It was not clear why, however.
The alleged relationship between Allen and the female student came to light when the student tried to send an e-mail to him but mistyped the e-mail address, said Lt. Mike McWilliam of the Eagle County Sheriff's Office. The e-mail went to a Florida man who notified police after he received it.
Foiled by the fat fingering of an email address.....curses!
The parents bailed him out? You don't see that twist everyday.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by today's weather girl, Chauntal Lewis from IGN

Sweepy McSweeperson


With their 21st win in 22 games, the relentless Rockies beat the rattled Arizona Diamondbacks 6-4 in Game 4 Monday night to sweep the NL championship series at chilly Coors Field.
Series MVP Matt Holliday hit a three-run homer into the pine-filled rock pile in center field that capped a six-run outburst in the fourth inning, and Colorado was on its way.
With the Rockies celebrating their first pennant, four franchises remain that have never reached the World Series: the Mariners, Devil Rays, Senators/Rangers and Expos/Nationals.
Awwww how sweet, their first pennant. They'll have lots of rest before the series begins. The Indians are up 2-1 on the Red Sox in the ALCS. The Rockies are also the only team to sweep the division and the pennant at once.