Friday, September 28, 2007

Senior Leader Killed


WASHINGTON - U.S.-led forces have killed one of the most important leaders of al-Qaida in Iraq, a Tunisian believed connected to the kidnapping and killings last summer of American soldiers, a top commander said Friday.
"Abu Osama al-Tunisi was one of the most senior leaders ... the emir of foreign terrorists in Iraq and part of the inner leadership circle," Anderson said.
If there were only 3 in the house. They must not have needed to capture him for interrogation. So dropping two 500 pounders on them is a good way to take them out.
Good work boys.

Let the Oktoberfest pictures begin!

Oktoberfest waitress Barbara Stadlhuber (a DDDN perrenial favorite) carries beer after the opening ceremony of the Oktoberfest in Munich September 22, 2007.



Every year when this rolls around I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Update: If you look hard enough you can find it.

Soccer is funny

You can watch this 100 times and still laugh!



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I watched it six times and I still have a smile on my face.

Miracle Beer Diet

Miracle Beer Diet



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Today's Weather

Brought to you by 93x Hot Chick, Erin Elaine



Fark headline: Tropical Storm Lorenzo forms in Gulf of Mexico, wants his oil back

Today's hurricane that will mysteriously screw up oil production brought to you by the Gulf of Mexico.
Great headline. Confused?

Bikini Friday



Have a good weekend everyone.

Study Says Premium Fuel Is Waste Of Cash


MOTORISTS who fill up with premium petrol are being conned, experts claimed yesterday.
Editor Steve Fowler said, "Even using fuel companies' own figures, you are unlikely to travel seven per cent further on a tank of fuel for a seven per cent increase in your fuel bill."
But you already knew all that...because we at DDDN already told you that.

Blimey: Drivers who smoke at the wheel could be fined


Drivers who smoke at the wheel could face prosecution under changes to the Highway Code.
Lighting-up at the wheel has been added to the list of "distractions" which police and lawyers can cite in court when seeking a conviction for a traffic offence.
It joins eating and drinking, "inserting a cassette or CD or tuning a radio", "arguing with your passengers or other road users", trying to read maps, and - even playing loud music - most, if not all, of which have featured in successful prosecutions.
Oh man! So just on the way into work today I saw a lady smoking, talking on the cell phone and she had a big cup of coffee in her console. So basically in England she's going away for life.

This is what passes for hookers in Central Florida


Melbourne police rounded up seven people during a special prostitution detail. The Special Operations Unit began its second prostitution operation in less than a week on Wednesday. Four people were arrested on prostitution charges, and three others were arrested on charges of selling cocaine.
No thanks. So the next time some one says, "we got some hookers and blow and headed off to the hotel," you'll have an entirely different view of that.

U.S. soldier acquitted of murder in Iraq


BAGHDAD - A military panel Friday acquitted U.S. Army Spc. Jorge G. Sandoval on charges he killed two unarmed Iraqis, but it convicted him of planting evidence on one of the men in attempt to cover up the shooting.
Good job. Now get back out there and get to shootin'.

Okla. attorney leaps from hospital ledge


OKLAHOMA CITY - An attorney accused of robbing a pharmacy jumped head first from his fifth-floor hospital room Thursday, landing on the roof of a nearby two-story building.
Robert Behlen "vaulted himself" through a narrow window in his room and screamed as members of a sheriff's office tactical team on tethers tried to reach him from an outdoor ledge, Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel said.
I was really hoping it was a different notable attorney here in town. In any event, see kids, drugs make you stupid.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

"I told the cop, 'You don't spend your days chasing geniuses, do you?' "


Burglars working to cut their way through a roof and into a tobacco and liquor store in Des Moines earlier this month misjudged their location and spent much of their time drilling a hole to the sidewalk outside the store.
"They forgot to take into account the overhang," said Rich Bartlett, owner of Southside Tobacco & Liquor, 2424 S.W. Ninth St.
These kids were not rocket surgeons.

Brazil knocks out U.S. 4-0


HANGZHOU, China - The streak is over, and so is the United States' bid for a third Women's World Cup championship.
Brazil and its star player Marta put on a dazzling performance against the Americans and cruised to a 4-0 victory in the semifinals Thursday, ending the U.S. unbeaten streak at 51 games and sending the Brazilians into their first title match, against Germany on Sunday.
That is the equivalent to a 49-0 football game, or a 15 to 2 baseball game, or a 4-0 hockey match. Sad this team couldn't play better. But when you are putting in own-goals, you have defense problems.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by 93x Hot Chick, Erica

Special conditions placed on Vick after positive marijuana test


RICHMOND, Va. -- Michael Vick is now likely one misstep from jail. The disgraced Atlanta Falcons quarterback tested positive for marijuana earlier this month, a violation of the conditions of his release as he awaits sentencing in federal court on a dogfighting charge that already jeopardizes his freedom and career.
ESPN analysts said this morning, that Vick's return to football would not come before 2010 due to the commissioner's ruling.
Michael, didn't they teach you anything at the University? You must think you're above the law pretty special.

Experts debate First Amendment issues in Tasering


The Sept. 17 Tasering incident at a speech by Sen. John Kerry sponsored by Student Government's Accent speaker's bureau has sparked nationwide debate over First Amendment rights and boundaries of police action.
He had his "turn" at the mic. Freedom of speech doesn't protect you from being an asshat. He was asked to leave, nicely, and he used his 1st amendment right to pursue happiness and wore out his welcome. Tough titties. Get over it.

Immigration: Pledging Even More Allegiance


Oct. 1, 2007 issue - For the first time in two decades, the U.S. citizenship test has been revamped—and the new version, which will be unveiled this week for use starting Oct. 1, 2008, will mark a profound shift in what it takes to become an American. Gone are many of the old trivia-style questions such as "How many stripes are on the American flag?" They've been replaced by queries that focus on concepts rather than facts—for instance, "Why does the flag have 13 stripes?" The new test, 10 years in the making at a price tag of $6.5 million, will also cover subjects such as "checks and balances," "inalienable rights" and other constitutional ideas.
Most Americans born here couldn't pass the current test. I call for all high school students to take the test.

It's going down in Myanmar


YANGON, Myanmar (CNN) -- Myanmar's security forces fired automatic weapons into a crowd of anti-government protesters, after attempts to clear them from the streets on Yangon, reports said Thursday.
Where the hell is Myanmar?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

MLB suspends umpire over confrontation


NEW YORK - Umpire Mike Winters was suspended by Major League Baseball for the remainder of the regular season on Wednesday because of his confrontation with San Diego's Milton Bradley last weekend.
Good. Referees should not directly affect the out come of the season. And this one may just cost the Padres a playoff spot.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by Misty Marie, 93x Hot Chick

Nike designs shoe for American Indians


BEAVERTON, Ore. - Nike on Tuesday unveiled what it said is the first shoe designed specifically for American Indians, an effort aiming at promoting physical fitness in a population with high obesity rates.
Just when I got my weight down too. I will be asking my friend who is an orthopedic foot surgeon about these foot differences and will be getting back to you in a follow-up.

Sexy Rexy Grossman to ride the pine this weekend


CHICAGO - Rex Grossman reportedly will be benched by the Chicago Bears for Sunday's game at Detroit, with Brian Griese starting at quarterback.
After watching the train wreck that was the Dallas game, he should have been riding the pine about half way through if you ask me.
In my fantasy league, Lookback is way ahead of the crowd, he dropped him on the 25th.

Bonds ball to be branded with asterisk


NEW YORK - The ball Barry Bonds hit for his record-breaking 756th home run will be branded with an asterisk and sent to the Baseball Hall of Fame, its owner said Wednesday.
Now that's funny. And a true look at the history of the 756th home run and the contraversial nature of what is being branded, "The Steroid Era".
You may never see this ball on display.

Hot for Teacher, Idaho style


Parents of Fruitland High School's football team were surprised that one of their own is accused of exchanging sexually explicit text messages with one of the team's teen-aged players.
Sheryl A. Nawahine, 35, faces three felony counts of sexual battery of a minor for exchanging explicit text messages — plus sharing at least one photo and a video — with a boy who is a close friend of her teen-aged son and daughter.
Link has samples of the texts! Haughty to say the least.

Jury finds Warren Jeffs guilty


ST. GEORGE — Warren Jeffs was found guilty of two counts of rape as an accomplice today in 5th District Court here.
Washington County Attorney Brock Belnap called it a "just verdict."
"They applied the law to the facts," he said of the jury, which started deliberations Friday.
Belnap also praised victim Elissa Wall, calling her "a pioneer."
Don't worry Jeffs, you'll have plenty of boyfriends when you get to prison, they just love dudes that hurt kids.

OKC Blazers Coach Stops Runaway Horse by Biting Ear


OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) -- The coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear.
He is a really great guy. He also does a really, really good interpretation of a buffalo hunter/scout at Fort Reno, Indian Territory Museum.

Crisis averted


Sept. 26 (Bloomberg) -- General Motors Corp. reached an historic contract agreement with the United Auto Workers, ending a two-day strike and promising to take $50 billion of future health-care obligations off GM's books.
And by crisis I mean strike, and it's aversion I mean the UAW will be able to continue its drain on the American auto industry.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Hot for Teacher, South Carolina Style


COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) -- A former teacher was charged with having sex with a teenage boy, the third teacher in the same county accused of such crimes in the past year and a half, authorities said Monday.
Karen Robbins, 49, was arrested over the weekend and charged with three counts each of criminal sexual conduct with a minor and committing a lewd act on a child.
There you have it. The Hot for Teacher trifecta is in affect.

Achmed the Terrorist

Bad form


KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Malaysian doctors have reattached a man's nearly severed penis after his first wife, enraged by his comparison of her sex skills with those of his younger second wife, decided to chop it off with a kitchen knife.
That's the first rule of polygamy. He should have read the handbook.

She's must be a really big fan


Where was she in the 80s when Loverboy had a following?

I found it interesting that the advertisement on the page for this story was...

Which may have contributed to her zeal and fortitude.

Rock On boys, Rock On!!!

Hot for Teacher, Michigan style


A Roseville High School teacher accused of having sex with her teenaged student aide last school year was arraigned on criminal sexual conduct charges today in a Clinton Township district court.
Janelle Batkins, 42, of Harrison Township, is charged with two counts of third-degree criminal sexual conduct, a 15-year felony.
42? Not bad. Again, I say to those hottie teacher types out there. You could be hitting it with MEN that wouldn't get you thrown in jail. Trust me, there's someone out there for everyone.