Horray For Summer

An update to yesterdays story. This is a make up picture for those sad souls who looked at the picture that your beloved editor Devil Dog gets off too. I apologize for that brutality on your eyes and mind.

The Daily Dumb Ass

The future of the world! We are doomed.

Thomas the Tank Recalled

A suburban Chicago-based toy company is reeling from the recall of one of its most popular products — Thomas the Tank Engine. The company, RC2, voluntarily began recalling some of the popular wooden railway toys because the Chinese factory that makes them used lead paints on the toys.

Apparently 60% of items being recalled in the marketplace are out of China. I think they are trying to kill us in a sneaky way. Makes you think twice before buying goods from China. Hopefully no one got lead poisoning, if anyone did, lets pray for small numbers.

DDDN, On your health

I was recently ATTACKED by chiggers while waiting for my daughter to arrive home from the ballpark. Standing in tall grass, I was assaulted and now have 6-8 bites on my body that are totally irritating.
So today I offer an Ohio State University web page to dispell the myths around chiggers and treatment for these scurge of our planet. Among all the animals on the earth chiggers and mosquitos cause the most agony with no known benefit to man. Bees and wasps are probably next but at least we get yummy honey and beneficial pollination from them.
My first task for Saturday is to cut ALL the tall grass away from the pipe fence that harbors these plague to mankind. I think I will feed them some yummy Diazinon as well.

Have a safe summer kids. And stay out of the tall grass.

Mexico and the US to meet in Gold Cup Final

Pictured is United States' Frankie Hejduk who will miss the final due to picking up his second Yellow card in as many matches. He'll get to watch from the bench.
CHICAGO - Mexico and the United States will meet in the CONCACAF Gold Cup final Sunday, just as expected. But neither is looking very much like a favorite.
Mexico's game vs. a scrappy Guadeloupe team.
USA's game vs. Canada.
A very bad call by the referee, cost Canada a chance at the win, by taking away a goal that would have tied the game in the 91st minute.
I've never seen so many F-bombs dropped on TV all of them muted.
The days when the US team were pushed around are over, the MLS league is finally showing results for our team on the international level.

Update: Pac-Man Jones, or how not to be an NFL superstar

LAS VEGAS - Suspended NFL player Adam "Pacman" Jones will face two felony charges in a strip club melee that preceded a triple shooting in February, Las Vegas police and the Clark County District Attorney's office said Wednesday.
Alas, poor Pac-Man, I knew him well.
Canada won't let you in if you are a felon. I wonder what he'll do for a living?

Yankees swept by the Rockies

The high altitude of Coors Field got to Roger Clemens. Unfortunately for New York, the thin air didn't have its expected impact on the Yankees' bats.
Bwahahahahahahaha, by the Rockies!!!!

Bikini Friday

And you guys thought I'd forget....tssk, tsssk.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by Miss Bethany
93x - What's the boyfriend (or girlfriend) status?
Miss Bethany - I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years, we met my softmore summer.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Aussies repelled five gunboats: ADF

The Australian Defence Force says up to five Iranian gunboats tried to capture Australian sailors in the Persian Gulf in December 2004.
Quoting a "military source", BBC security correspondent Frank Gardner reported Iranian forces made a concerted attempt to seize a boarding party from the Royal Australian Navy and that the Australians "were having none of it".
"The point of this story is not that the Aussies were fantastically brave and the Brits were a bunch of cowards, although I'm sure some people will interpret [it that way],'' BBC security correspondent Frank Gardner said.
And why they didn't pass this info on to the Brits who were grabbed just a few months later, we'll never know.
Go ahead, make my day mate.

Hacker forces 1,500 Pentagon computers offline

PENTAGON - The Defense Department took as many as 1,500 computers off line because of a cyber attack, Pentagon officials said Thursday.
Few details were released about the attack, which happened Wednesday, but Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the computer systems would be working again soon.
Gates said the Pentagon sees hundreds of attacks a day, and this one had no adverse impact on department operations.
Was this hacker's name...Zero Cool? Too obscure?
In any event who ever it was, I guess he didn't think his life was complicated enough. Cause you know, they will find you and that's now considered, a terrorist act.

Stolen 1956 Thunderbird recovered -- 31 years later

What's better than recovering your classic car that was stolen 31 years ago? Recovering your classic car after it's been restored. Good work coppers.

Hillside Mona Lisa artist works on 'tasteful nude'

By ANTONIA GIEDWOYN
NEWPORT, Ore. – Artist Samuel Clemens, not to be confused with the author of the same name, is at it again.
The hillside artist that brought traffic to a standstill along Highway 20 near Newport last summer with his reproduction of the Mona Lisa on a grassy slope is working on a new masterpiece.
This time, it’s a reclining nude based on a drawing he made of his wife when they first met. She was a model.
Okay, my first question is, "how did you get your wife to pose for nude photos?" I can't even get mine to pose for fully clothed photos at the church! Nice work.

Hot for Teacher, North Carolina Style

WILMINGTON, N.C. -- A 40-year-old high school teacher and cross country coach has resigned and married a 16-year-old student. A marriage license shows Brenton Wuchae married Windy Hager in Brunswick County, N.C., on Monday. The county board of education approved Wuchae's resignation Tuesday -- a week after he had requested it.
This is so, very, very wrong. Here's a link with another picture and story about her.
What the hell, over? Is there a gene in the DNA that tells someone that marrying KIDS is just hunky dorry?

And you thought the President had low ratings

By Frank Newport
PRINCETON, NJ -- The percentage of Americans with a "great deal" or "quite a lot" of confidence in Congress is at 14%, the lowest in Gallup's history of this measure -- and the lowest of any of the 16 institutions tested in this year's Confidence in Institutions survey. It is also one of the lowest confidence ratings for any institution tested over the last three decades.
Hey Congress, you got edged out by fucking HMOs. Are you kidding me? Even the giant evil Big Businesses, you know the ones, the ones that give you guys all the big money to go to Washington City, beat you out. Hell even the hated Union labor guys got more votes. You guys suck.

Offical First day of Summer

It's the Summer Solstice today June 21st. So happy Summer Solstice!

If you are Devil Dog, please click here for your party pic, we gotta include everyone in the love.

Thursday's Dumb Ass of the Day

I hate jackasses like this.

Someone needs to put a fire up his hole!

Today's Weather

Brought to you by Hit2Hurt Girl Tina Marie

Roger Armstrong, Bug Bunny illustrator, dead, cardiac arrest

By Dennis McLellan
Roger Armstrong, whose five-decade career as a cartoonist included doing artwork for "Bugs Bunny," "The Flintstones" and numerous other comic books as well as for comic strips featuring characters such as Little Lulu and Scamp, has died. He was 89.
As a cartoonist for Western Publishing in Los Angeles in the 1940s, Armstrong worked on Bugs Bunny and other Warner Bros. characters — including Porky Pig and Elmer Fudd — as well as Walt Disney characters such as Little Hiawatha, the Seven Dwarfs, Donald Duck and Pluto, and Walter Lantz's Woody Woodpecker.
At 16, he was earning $1 for drawing six ads per week for a local advertising agency. After graduating from high school, he attended Chouinard Art Institute on a scholarship from 1938 to 1939 but was forced by the Depression to quit and find a job.
He was working on an assembly line at Lockheed Aircraft in 1941 when he was hired at Western Publishing to draw Bugs Bunny for a new Warner Bros. comic book, "Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies Comics."
He was also a noted teacher and water color artist.

Swingin' Sammy hits his 600th

Sammy Sosa joined an elite club, hitting his 600th home run against his former team. Meanwhile, two younger sluggers hit key home runs to rally baseball's hottest teams to victories.
There are now 5 members of the elite 600-homer club. Sadaharu Oh wants to know when he gets his plaque and his membership.

Update: Fat Girls on Page One

By John Hilliard

Framingham - Students accused of stealing nearly 1,000 copies of the Framingham State College newspaper will be paying back at least some of the cost of reprinting those lost editions.

In April, 800 to 1,000 copies of the student newspaper The Gatepost were stolen by students embarrassed by the journal's front-page photo of them attending a recent lacrosse home game in tank tops and low-cut shorts. Two women at the school later admitted to stealing some of those editions.
Fat? What the hell? These girls are not fat.
A commenter on Fark.com put it this way "Would you hit it?".
Yes, Yes, Hell Yes, 8 beers, Yes if she explains the difference in tan colors on her legs, Yes, and Yes.

The true origin of those damn LOLCATS

You've seen the pictures with the bad grammer and cats. The internets invented them. But this is where the original came from. Adam Koford.
The Wikipedia link. Some day Adam will get a Wikipedia entry.
Want more LOLCats, then you are truly twisted. Click here. Or here.
I preferred the cats that look like hitler page.

The Muslim face of the US Marines

Navy Lieutenant Commander Abuhena Saifulislam welcomes everyone with a broad smile and prefers to be called "Chaplain Saif".
He is the only Muslim chaplain in the elite US Marine Corps, and one of only two in the US Navy overall.
And you thought your job was hard. Semper Fi.

Soldier's wife facing deportation

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- The wife of a U.S. soldier missing in Iraq could face deportation, her attorney told a television station.
Army Spc. Alex R. Jimenez, who has been missing since his unit was attacked by insurgents in Iraq on May 12, had petitioned for a green card for his wife, Yaderlin, whom he married in 2004, Boston's WBZ-TV reported Tuesday.
Their attorney, Matthew Kolken, said Yaderlin illegally entered the United States from the Dominican Republic in 2001. Her husband's request for a green card and legal residence status for her alerted authorities to her situation, Kolken said.
I thought we took care of soldiers and their families? I want to know who the heartless pencil pushing dickhead in the Immigration Department green lighted this deportation. Bad move jackass.
Thanks for the heads up =HPSF=Jarhead. I forgot to run this story.

Kobe keeps urging Lakers to trade him

First it was, Trade me.
Then it was, Don't trade me, it's all good. Me and Phil worked it out.
Now it's, The Lakers GM sucks, buy my video and watch me bad mouth him and BTW, trade me.
Guess what Kobe? Yeah, you are gonna be wearing that hideous color of yellow gold and purple again next year.

Butter Knife Terrorist

By Kevin Reece
DES MOINES - Cecilia Beaman is a 57-year-old grandmother, a principal at Pacific Middle School in Des Moines, and as of Sunday is also a suspected terrorist.
This past weekend she and several other chaperones took 37 middle school students to a Heritage Festival band competition in California. The trip included two days at Disneyland.
During the stay she made sandwiches for the kids and was careful to pack the knives she used to prepare those sandwiches in her checked luggage. She says she even alerted security screeners that the knives were in her checked bags and they told her that was OK.
But Beaman says she couldn't find a third knife. It was a 5 1/2 inch bread knife with a rounded tip and a serrated edge. She thought she might have lost or misplaced it during the trip.
Guess what happened, yeah they found it in her carry on luggage. So $500 later and with her name on the terrorist watch list, she's crying foul. And she should.

Today's Weather

Brought to you by Lucy Pinder

Microsoft to change Vista after Google complaint

By Peter Kaplan
CHICAGO (Reuters) -Microsoft Corp. has agreed to modify its Windows Vista operating system in response to a complaint that its computer search function put Google Inc. and other potential rivals at a disadvantage, the Justice Department and Microsoft said on Tuesday.
Why can't we all just get along? Oh...because you can't make money that way.

Bush to veto stem cell bill

By DEB RIECHMANN, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - President Bush has chosen to use his veto pen three times — twice on the stem cell issue where politics, ethics and science collide.
At the same time, Bush will issue an executive order directing the Health and Human Services Department to promote research into cells that, like human embryonic stem cells, also hold the potential of regenerating into different types of cells that might be used to battle disease.
All this really means is that we get to BUY this technology from a foreign company when they perfect it 10 years ahead of us. I wonder if my insurance will pay for stem cell treatment in the future?

Bloomberg Leaves GOP

By Marcia Kramer
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg plunged the country's political landscape further into chaos on Tuesday evening when he released a statement saying he was quitting the Republican Party.

"I have filed papers with the New York City Board of Elections to change my status as a voter and register as unaffiliated with any political party. Although my plans for the future haven't changed, I believe this brings my affiliation into alignment with how I have led and will continue to lead our City," Bloomberg said.
Chaos is a strong word Marcia. I'd say he decided he couldn't win any party's nomination, or he didn't want to play either of the two major party's games. A'la Are we in for some strong Independent candidates? In the article he refers to 926 days. That would mean on January 1st, 2010 he isn't the Mayor any more. Is he running in 2008?

Iwo Jima Finally Wiped Off the Map

TOKYO, June 19 (UPI) -- Japan has changed the name of the Pacific island of Iwo Jima to Iwo To.

The Japanese Geographical Survey Institute announced the name change on Monday for the island that was the site of a famous World War II battle between Japanese and U.S. forces in 1945, the Mainichi Daily News reported.

Slowly we erase the deeds of hardy men of long ago.

Paul Reubens and Pee-wee Herman are back

By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer
Pee-wee re-emerged this month for the first time in 15 years, making a surprise appearance at Spike TV's Guys Choice Awards. And Reubens began his latest resurgence last summer with a stint of TV guest-star and film roles that have drawn kudos from critics.
It's good to see him working. You know it's always the really twisted ones that are the most entertaining/talented.

House Fire

Please cannibus growers won't you think of the firemen?

Finding friends

It's good to hear from friends, especially ones from your past.
I received this email yesterday.

I stumbled quite by chance upon a story about bouncing a keg on the Dirty Sock website. This is Terry Bechtold - if you are HPSFDevilDog then who are you really?

This is the post he read. Terry and I went to the same high school and were in the Marines together. We had some really good times together. And we had some times together when I was told later that we had a really good time together.



Terry is in the middle in this first pic. I am on the left. Jeff Gatewood is on the right. We are in the Mojave Desert, 29 Palms California.
The next pic is of me hosing off the 5 ton 6x6 truck Terry and I got stuck twice in one day. The last time Terry buried her to the axles. A fine example of driving I must say. And for the record we were told to drive down there. The last time it took a M110A2 Howitzer to pull us out.

I look forward to catching up with Terry in the following weeks.

DDDN Dumbass of the Day

Oh the horror! LOL!
Wow. I wonder what he does for a living.

And now Today's Weather

Today's weather girl, 93X Babe of the Day, Krystal

Last-place Orioles fire Sam Perlozzo

By DAVID GINSBURG, AP Sports Writer
BALTIMORE - Four men have tried. No one has succeeded. Is anyone out there capable of having a winning season as manager of the Baltimore Orioles Sam Perlozzo was fired by the Orioles on Monday, the result of his inability to bring last-place Baltimore out of a lengthy funk culminated by an eight-game losing streak.
Sometimes the guy in charge can't get it done. Sometimes it's not his fault. Sometimes...oh who are we kidding, they suck and they need a new manager. Reminds me of my Chicago Fire team.

Figgins' 6th hit leads Angels to victory

By The Associated Press
Perhaps the only thing that prevented Chone Figgins from adding another hit or two was this: his ninth-inning triple ended the game. Figgins finished 6-for-6 with an RBI triple in the bottom of the ninth that gave the Los Angeles Angels a 10-9 victory over the Houston Astros on Monday night.
"I don't think I ever did that in a video game, much less in a professional game," he said.
He became the first major leaguer to get six hits since Seattle's Raul Ibanez on Sept. 22, 2004, at Anaheim, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. Ibanez was 6-for-6 as well.
That's some fine hitting there.